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Band 5.5

Some people believe that living in a large city is beneficial, while others think Some people believe that living in a large city is beneficial, while others think that it is more advantageous to live in a small town. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #city #town
There are different views among
people
 about the lifestyle of big
cities
 and small
villages
. Some
people
 consider large
cities
 more comfortable in terms of education, medical and
carrier
Correct your spelling
career
show examples
 facilities
however
 some
people
 prefer to live in countryside areas because of
peaceful
Correct article usage
the peaceful
show examples
 and fresh atmosphere
as well as
availability
Add an article
the availability
show examples
 of natural things. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 both have different advantages and disadvantages as we shall discuss. On the one hand, metropolitan
cities
 have the easy accessibility of educational institutes like schools, colleges, and recreational centres which ensure the better academic development of children and youngsters.
Moreover
, city life offers
well maintained
Add a hyphen
well-maintained
show examples
 medical services as there are
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of well-equipped hospitals which
proves
Correct subject-verb agreement
prove
show examples
 to
helpful
Add a missing verb
be helpful
show examples
 in any kind of emergency.
Additionally
, multinational companies
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
originated in the big
cities
 which in turn provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employment
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 lots of graduates.
Although
 pollution, congestion and crime are some of the serious issues that are prevailing in the large
cities
.
Conversely
, small
villages
 are abandoned with pure and natural amenities which
includes
Correct subject-verb agreement
include
show examples
 food without the addition of chemicals, calm and beautiful surroundings, and
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 crime activities. In small
villages
,
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
people
 use the vegetables
growing
Wrong verb form
grown
show examples
 at home which saves them from a lot of
chronical
Correct your spelling
chronic
 diseases like heart attack, diabetes, and cancer.
In addition
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, there are a smaller number of vehicles providing
Correct article usage
a pollution
show examples
pollution free
Add a hyphen
pollution-free
show examples
 environment and
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
 the chance to admire the beauty of
Add an article
the creature
show examples
creature
Fix the agreement mistake
creatures
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. Despite these facilities, there is
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of basic infrastructure like hospitals, schools, and career
path
Fix the agreement mistake
paths
show examples
 because of
this
resident
Fix the agreement mistake
residents
show examples
 of
villages
 have to face problems in unforeseen circumstances. In conclusion, it can be analysed that
although
 metro
cities
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
basic
Correct article usage
the basic
show examples
 needs of individuals effectively,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
city pollution, crowd and crime rate can not be put on the back burner.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
villages
 provide relaxed and natural living conditions but the lack of facilities can be
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 drawback of rural areas.
Submitted by prtkaur on

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task achievement
Consider using more specific examples or anecdotes to illustrate your points. This will help to make your arguments more compelling and relatable.
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on some points for clarity, such as explaining why natural amenities in villages directly contribute to well-being.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences could be simplified to improve readability. Varying sentence structure can also enhance clarity and engagement.
task achievement
You have addressed both views and provided a balanced discussion in your essay, which is well done.
coherence cohesion
The essay structure, with a clear introduction and conclusion, provides a strong framework for your discussion.
coherence cohesion
You have successfully highlighted the key differences between living in a city and in a small town with supportive arguments.

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