Some people are very interested in researching their family history. Other people say this is a waste of time and that we should focus instead on the present and future generations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Include reasons for your answer and any examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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70% of the world population subject themselves to DNA testing
inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
to determine their genealogy. The testing involves time and money which is why the remaining 30% of the population
believe
Correct subject-verb agreement
believes
show examples
that
this
does not contribute anything to present and future generations.
While
it is true that knowing
ones
Change noun form
one's
show examples
family
history
could be exciting, a person should
also
agree that the time spent in researching
ones
Change to a genitive case
one's
show examples
history
can be used for other important matters. Iris Belmonte, a
42-year old
Add a hyphen
42-year-old
show examples
Filipina, got very curious about her family
history
when she saw Circle DNA's
advetisement
Correct your spelling
advertisement
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on Facebook. Though expensive and time-consuming, she gave it a go thinking that the result will give her an interesting result. After a month of waiting, she received the result, and to her
suprise
Correct your spelling
surprise
, found out that she
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
60% Filipino, 20% Chinese and 20% European. Scanning her list of friends on Facebook, she discovered that one of her friends is a long-distant cousin.
This
story proves that, though researching
ones
Change to a genitive case
one's
show examples
family
history
involves time and money, it can be a worthwhile way to connect to relatives that we never knew.
On the other hand
, there are people who will never be excited to know their family connections. In hospitals, 1 out
4
Change preposition
of 4
show examples
babies is accidentally
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
given to the wrong parents. Take Danny Co, father of Skylar Co as an example. Who would have thought that after 6 years, Danny would receive a call from an
unknow
Correct your spelling
unknown
show examples
woman claiming that she
the
Add a missing verb
was the
show examples
mother of Skylar
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Submitted by jing_zabala on

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coherence cohesion
Improve your introduction by outlining both views clearly and stating your own opinion briefly. This will provide a roadmap for your essay and enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main point of that section. This will help improve logical structure.
coherence cohesion
Include a conclusion that summarizes both perspectives and clearly states your personal viewpoint. This will help tie the essay together.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas by explaining how researching family history impacts individuals and society. This will provide a more complete response to the task.
task achievement
Use more specific examples or evidence to support your points, which will make your arguments more compelling.
task achievement
The essay presents different perspectives on researching family history with examples, which shows an attempt to address the task effectively.
task achievement
The essay uses specific examples, like the story of Iris Belmonte, to illustrate points, adding interest and depth.
coherence cohesion
The language used is understandable and mostly clear, which aids in communication.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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