Some people believe that modern technology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #technology

the majority of visitors

Change preposition

show examples

museums

and historical

sites

are

tourists

,but not local

residents

. the reason for

this

is marketing and promotion. absolutely everything is aimed at attracting

tourists

. Almost all

museums

are

promouting

Correct your spelling

promoting

themselves to outdoor

tourists

through guide agencies and online platforms. These targeted advertisements can attract mostly visitors from outside. for overseas

nations

Add a comma

nations,

show examples

our culture seems unique and interesting.

however

, for local

residents

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

museums

and historical

building

Fix the agreement mistake

buildings

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are ordinary

sites

, they have been there and know a lot of information about those historic places and they perceive these

museums

and historical

sites

as something they can visit at any time, and the idea that these attractions are always accessible may reduce

desire

Add an article

the desire

show examples

to visit regularly.

museums

to engage more local

residents

could offer unique, community-oriented experiences. Whether through educational programs, special exhibitions that focus on local history, or interactive events that appeal to the younger generation. In conclusion,

while

museums

and historical

sites

play a crucial role in attracting

tourists

, their marketing strategies often prioritize outdoor visitors, leaving locals less engaged. To encourage more frequent visits from local

residents

, these historical

museums

should focus on creating

local oriented

Add a hyphen

local-oriented

show examples

experiences. By offering programs that emphasize local history, educational opportunities, and interactive events for different age groups.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Fri Oct 18 2024

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task response

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coherence cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, work on linking your ideas more clearly with transition phrases and make sure each paragraph flows from one to the next smoothly. Consider using more connective words to guide the reader through your argument.

introduction conclusion present

The essay concludes with a clear summary and offers solutions, which serves both to wrap up the discussion effectively and provide the reader with recommendations.

task response

The essay presents a well-articulated viewpoint in the conclusion that clearly suggests a solution to the problem discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

209 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

online marketplaces
mobile payment options
personalized advertising
accessibility
compare prices
decision fatigue
impulse buying
financial imprudence
privacy and data security
transformed
streamlined
user-friendly

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Some people believe that modern technology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

should long term jobseekers in receipt of government benefits be made to do voluntary work so that they can give something back to the community ?

The importance of biodiversity is being more widely recognised as increasing numbers of species come under threat. what can be done to maintain biodiversity?

In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes?

Many governments think that economic progress is the most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Which opinion do you agree with? Discuss both options and give examples