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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table below gives information about a bakery's average sales in three different branches in 2015.

The table below gives information about a bakery's average sales in three different branches in 2015.
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The given chart provides information about the average sales of bakeries in three different branches in 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clearly seen that
London
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Covent
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Garden
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 had the highest number of
transactions
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, followed by
London
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Oxford
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Circus
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,
while
Linking Words
 the least was
London
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St
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John
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's
Wood
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. As depicted in the chart, the most popular item in
London
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Covent
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Garden
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 was the croissant,
while
Linking Words
 the  medium latte and the strawberry tart were mostly preferred in 
London
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Oxford
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Circus
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 and
London
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St
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John
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's
Wood
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 , respectively. The first branch had 642
transactions
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,
while
Linking Words
 the other two had 538 and 269, respectively. Looking deeply into details,
London
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Covent
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Garden
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 accumulated about 8 euros, which was the highest transaction value; meanwhile,
London
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Oxford
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Circus
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 and
London
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St
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John
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's
Wood
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 earned 4.51 euros and 5.01 euros in 2015.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the numbers of eat-in
transactions
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 and
take-away
Correct your spelling
takeaway
show examples
transactions
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 in
London
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Covent
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Garden
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 were 304 and 338,
while
Linking Words
London
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Oxford
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Circus
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 had 247 and 291, and
London
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St
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John
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's
Wood
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 had 150 and 119, respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words london, covent, garden, transactions, oxford, circus, st, john, wood with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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