IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

WRITING TASK 2 You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: In the last decade, there has been a great increase in global air travel. What do you think are the reasons for this and do you think it is a good thing? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #decade #air #travel
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In the
last
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 few years, there has been a huge spike in world
travel
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due to
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 various reasons
such
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 as tourism, work and abroad study. I would give my reasons on why it could potentially grow in the future. Nowadays,
travel
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 is considered
as
Correct your spelling
a
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 luxury. People love to explore new places and create good memories with their loved ones. Families often prefer an
internantional
Correct your spelling
international
 or domestic trip once or
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
 twice a year.
This
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 helps them get some relief or break from their
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
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 responsibilities.
Secondly
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, the new trend of studying abroad has really pushed
air
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travel
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.
For instance
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, international students usually go
to
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apply
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abroad to acquire skills
to
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in
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 different countries across the globe. In
this
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 way, it makes
air
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travel
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 a beneficial part of their journey.
Moreover
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, employees working in
multinantional
Correct your spelling
multinational
 companies
also
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 use
air
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commute
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commutes
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 to attend live meetings or seminars.
Due to
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 an increase in competition in the aircraft industry and the amount of demand, flight rates are now cheaper than other means of transport, For
an
Correct article usage
apply
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example, travelling by road could be expensive
due to
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 high gas prices.
This
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 allows
air
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 industries to have a competitive advantage over road, rail and sea transport.
Moreover
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, it
also
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 ensures to boost
a
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of a
show examples
country's economy. Airlines make a lot of wealth since people
travel
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 in abundance.
Hence
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, it assists
Correct article usage
the goverment
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goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 to have a stable revenue for a constant period of time, In fact, there are countries
such
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 as Sri Lanka, Nepal and Indonesia who depend upon tourism and
air
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travel
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. These
countries
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countries'
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 economy grows immensely with the help of
air
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travel
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 and
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
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. In my opinion, global commute is going to drastically grow as time passes by. It not only saves time but
also
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 ensures people with better opportunities and a great way
enjoy
Fix the infinitive
to enjoy
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 their vacation.
Submitted by lavinramnani8 on

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language
For a higher score, consider introducing more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance the essay's sophistication. Some sentences are repetitive, so varying your language will help maintain the reader's interest.
language
Ensure the consistent use of formal language throughout the essay to meet the academic requirements of IELTS. Avoid words or expressions that may be too informal.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing the reasons for increased global air travel and offering personal insights on whether it is a good thing. All parts of the question are covered.
coherence and cohesion
Ideas are organized logically, with clear progression from one point to the next. The essay flows well and maintains coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant examples, such as the impact of international students and the influence of cheaper air fares, which support the main points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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