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Band 4.5

Do we have to plan for future or stay focused on our present what is your opinion and why ? provide example to support your stand.

#plan #future #support
A common question is, what is more important for humans improving present days or focusing on
plan
Wrong verb form
planning
show examples
 the
future
 and
postpone
Wrong verb form
postponing
show examples
 happiness to an older age
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 I believe that people should not focus on one period of time, balancing is essential to get a better life in all ages of life. To commence, we should focus on our
future
 because
present day
Add a hyphen
present-day
show examples
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 could not come without the proper
plan
 for the
future
. when we
plan
 what we want to become in the next coming years and what things we want to have when we are older, it helps us to break the
future
 big goals into smaller and manageable tasks we need to do
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
at present days to achieve the goals in the
future
.
For instance
, when a child
plan
Correct subject-verb agreement
plans
show examples
 to become a football player,
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
young
Correct article usage
a young
show examples
 age he
learn
Correct subject-verb agreement
learns
show examples
 how to play and
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
 his skills step by step and
learn
Correct subject-verb agreement
learns
show examples
 more information about the game, as he
grow
Change the verb form
grows
show examples
, the knowledge he
gaine
Correct your spelling
gains
 helps him become a professional football player.
Additionally
, We should not forget the
future
 and only
enjoying
Wrong verb form
enjoy
show examples
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
 moments because the happy moments will end and we will be in
a difficult situations
Correct the article-noun agreement
a difficult situation
difficult situations
show examples
 that we never
expect
Wrong verb form
expected
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, in these times we need the money and knowledge that we could save,
as well as
 good people being around.
For example
, there are black days as
Arab
Replace the word
Arabs
show examples
named
Wrong verb form
name
show examples
 them you should save money to stay safe in these situations,
such
 as unexpected fireworks
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 your house. In conclusion, the answer
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the question is planning for the
future
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 us know what we are working toward and gives us direction and
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
show examples
 of meaning in present life, and focusing only
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the present leads to difficult places we did not dream of in the
future
 .
Submitted by danall1kat on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and logically connects to the next. Work on creating smooth transitions between paragraphs for better cohesion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction presents the topic, but try to provide a more specific thesis statement that outlines your argument. In the conclusion, summarize the main points clearly and reinforce your opinion.
Task Achievement
Expand on your examples to make your arguments stronger and more relatable. Ensure each example directly supports the point you're discussing.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear stance on the need to balance planning for the future and living in the present.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and conclusion, providing a basic framework for the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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