Many countries now face an economic downturn so it is better for each country to focus on its own problems rather than helping other countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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These days, the
economy
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is the main factor for all
countries
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, so a group of people believe that
countries
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which have economic issues have to focus on their matters
instead
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of helping other societies. I subscribe to
this
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idea owing to the fact that their community is more important than other populations;
additionally
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, aiding other
countries
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requires not only
time
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but
also
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money
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,which can change the country's position. On the one hand, the
economy
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has a lot of effects on inhabitants, so when it does not improve, most citizens will be in poverty; in fact, the rate of crime in these
countries
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climb.
In other words
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, after a long
time
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changing
this
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situation to the ideal form needs a great deal of
time
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and
money
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with foreign help;
as a result
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, the best way to avoid
this
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negative development is for governments to make plans which alter their
economy
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instead
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of aid to other
countries
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.
On the other hand
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, it is important to help other
countries
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invest
money
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and
time
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to solve their problems and most
time
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when they want to get back
this
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money
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, they need a majority of the
time
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;
consequently
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, it cannot have a positive impact on the helper country
while
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this
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authority that aids other
countries
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can fund these items on its country ;
thereafter
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, it is able to see the good influence in their society and its
economy
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improving really fast.
To sum up
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, In my opinion, enhancing own
economy
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and the population's lives is more essential in these issues than in other
countries
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inasmuch as these elements can show how many times that
countries
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can achieve their goal and have a good position.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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task achievement
Clarify some of your main ideas and provide more relevant examples to strengthen your argument. For example, you can use real-world scenarios where countries focused on their own problems versus helping others.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical structure by ensuring smooth transitions between your paragraphs. This will help the reader understand your argument more clearly.
task achievement
Work on making your arguments more clear and straightforward. Some sentences could be simplified to enhance clarity.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion and maintains it throughout the text.
coherence cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion effectively frame the discussion and provide closure.
task achievement
The essay attempts to explore multiple perspectives, which is commendable and adds depth to the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic downturn
  • prioritize
  • solving
  • assisting
  • long-term benefits
  • international cooperation
  • economic stability
  • providing aid
  • diplomatic relations
  • supporting
  • less developed countries
  • overall
  • global economic growth
  • balancing
  • national interests
  • global responsibilities
  • crucial
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