Some people believe that watching TV is bad for children, while others claim is has positive effects for children as they grow up. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many individuals think that watching
TV
is useless for
children
,
while
others assume it has beneficial effects for
children
as they become mature.
This
writer’s opinion is the latter idea and the reasons why will be outlined in
this
essay. First of all, watching
TV
is one of the most vital factors in helping
children
learn more knowledge. Parents can turn on programs which regard wild animals or world education displayed on the
TV
.
Moreover
,
children
can watch some cartoons or animation for entertainment after studious hours. It will reduce stress and pressure on
children
and make them more interested in learning by television.
Furthermore
, watching
TV
also
has a transmission of knowledge and a good grasp of various fields.
Consequently
,
children
will study their way through amusement. It is evident that many parents let their kids study
their
Change preposition
on their
show examples
own and rely on
programs
Correct article usage
the programs
show examples
shown. Another point that must be considered is that
children
can become addicted to watching
TV
and start to ignore learning.
In addition
, some adults believe that it wastes much time with
children
instead
of sending them to extracurricular classes at night.
Besides
that,
children
may see toxic programs demonstrated
such
as violence or inappropriate video clips for babies.
Therefore
,
children
should watch
TV
under the supervision of parents or install surveillance cameras in a home in order to find out immediately.
As a result
,
children
should manage their time and
content
Correct article usage
the content
show examples
they look at on
TV
.
This
is the fact in Vietnam, some kids become naughty
due to
lack of guidance. In conclusion, watching
TV
has a positive impact on babies if they are controlled thoughtfully.
Thus
, I think that the latter statement is the best opinion.

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task response
Your introduction effectively outlines the essay's structure. However, strive to be clearer and more concise in your thesis statement. While you states your opinion, make sure to fully address both views with equal depth.
task response
Expand on your main points with more specific and detailed examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, you could discuss specific TV programs that are educational or harmful for children.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to enhance coherence and cohesion. While your ideas are logically structured, some paragraphs could benefit from more clear topic sentences and concluding sentences.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which aids in understanding your viewpoint.
task response
You touch upon several relevant aspects of the discussion on TV's impact on children, demonstrating a well-rounded thought process.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary behavior
  • unrealistic perceptions
  • creative pursuits
  • social development
  • emotional development
  • constructive content
  • screen time
  • parental guidance
  • critical thinking
  • active learning
  • age-appropriate
  • media literacy
  • family bonding
  • moderation
  • perceive
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