In recent times, economic growth has helped many become richer, both in developed and developing countries. However, those in developed countries are not as happy as they were in the past. What do you think is this? What do you think can be learned from this?

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It is a known fact that

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apply

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countries that are developed or developing are becoming stronger and richer,

however

Linking Words

the

people

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are not as satisfied with these opportunities as they were in the past.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss and explain the reasons for

this

Linking Words

Initially

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, in the past,

people

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would be satisfied with everything, whether they were rich or poor, economically good or bad. Since, the expectations were much lower and

people

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were

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the

Correct article usage

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similar level with each other, economically.

However

Linking Words

, as

people

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became richer, the expectations grew alongside

with

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apply

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it,

thus

Linking Words

the

happiness

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people

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decreased significantly.

For instance

Linking Words

, several

people

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have reported that

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apply

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they are not extremely happy, even if they are rich.

Additionally

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, it is a fact that money does not bring

happiness

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. Whether you have billions of dollars, or none,

psyhical

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physical

health and mental health

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are

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significantly vital. With

healthy

Correct article usage

a healthy

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mind and body, internal joy,

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happiness

Correct word choice

and happiness

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comes

Correct subject-verb agreement

come

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along, and the person becomes "rich" internally.

For instance

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, Steve Jobs, the founder of Apple,

who

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apply

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was extremely rich,

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however

Add the comma(s)

however,

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he was suffering from severe cancer,

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thus

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he passed away from it. In conclusion, as the countries and the

people

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become richer, the percentage of their

happiness

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declines. The reason for

this

Linking Words

is the growing expectations from

people

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, and the fact that wealth does not bring joy, the most significant thing is having

healthy

Correct article usage

a healthy

show examples

mind and body.

lalecelilbeyli2002Sat Oct 19 2024

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Task Achievement

Try to incorporate a specific example or study that shows a lack of connection between wealth and happiness in different countries to strengthen your discussion.

Task Achievement

Develop your ideas more comprehensively, such as explaining why expectations have grown or what has contributed to changing satisfaction levels.

Coherence and Cohesion

Enhance coherence by using more linking phrases between sentences and paragraphs to ensure a smooth transition of ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay is clearly structured with a strong introduction and conclusion that encapsulates the main ideas.

Task Achievement

You've highlighted an important and relevant aspect, that increased wealth sometimes does not correlate with increased happiness.

Task Achievement

Using specific examples like Steve Jobs adds a personal touch to your argument, making it more relatable and vivid.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

228 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Economic growth
Material wealth
Affluent societies
Social cohesion
Isolation and loneliness
Work-related stress
Professional expectations
Aspirations and reality
Environmental degradation
Sustainability
Consumerism
Comparison
Life balance
Mental well-being
Community relationships
Sustainable development

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In recent times, economic growth has helped many become richer, both in developed and developing countries. However, those in developed countries are not as happy as they were in the past. What do you think is this? What do you think can be learned from this?

Your opinion

Advancement in medical note it is quite common for people to live up to age of hundred and further medical such would make it possible for normal human being to live longer than desirable or not

The gap between the rich and the poor is increasingly wide, as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer. What problems could this situation cause? What are the solutions to address those problems?

Advertising discourages people from being different individuals by making us all want to do the same and look the same. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It seems that many companies today are becoming much more concerned with profit than with the happiness of workers. How could companies take better care of their workers in the future? Give reasons to your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience