IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Write about the following topic: Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

#topic #computers #invention #years #minutes
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People consider
the
Correct article usage
apply
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computers
being
Wrong verb form
to be
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 the most vital discovery of the recent century.
This
 essay will discuss the reasons and give a conclusion on
this
 topic. On the one hand, electronic devices have
significant
Add an article
a significant
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 impact on our lifestyles. One could not imagine functioning in daily life without those products' presence.
Additionally
, most of the time, human beings regulate every
activitiy
Correct your spelling
activity
 using their telephones and
computers
. Considering all the inventions of the
last
 hundred years, we might say that the discovery of
computers
were
Change the verb form
was
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 the most important one,
due to
 the fact that the usage
from
Change preposition
of
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 those devices increases every minute. The increase
on
Change preposition
in
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 the usage of
computers
 increased efficiency.
For instance
, Apple was founded in the early 2000s and the company's products have been used and utilized by people since
then
.
On the other hand
, in the
last
century
Add a comma
century,
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 human beings have been introduced with a whole lot of distinct inventions, which cannot even be comparable with
the
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apply
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computers
.
For instance
, the inventions in medical sphere, transport sector
and
Correct word choice
apply
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etc. would be more significant and beneficial for the people. Comparing the advantages and the benefits, clearly, the discoveries in the medical sphere would outweigh the
the
Remove the redundancy
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invention of
computers
. We would, without
a
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apply
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question, choose health over devices.
To conclude
, despite the fact that
computers
 raise
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
productivity in many sectors around the world, there are
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
 more essential discoveries which might increase the convenience of humans.
Submitted by lalecelilbeyli2002 on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples and detailed explanations to support your points, making the argument more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure consistency in your argument and refine the logical connection between opposing points for stronger coherence.
coherence cohesion
You effectively introduced the topic and provided a conclusion that aligns with your discussion.
task achievement
You considered and discussed both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view on the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Revolutionized
  • Productivity
  • Efficiency
  • Integration
  • Transform
  • Facilitating
  • Instant connections
  • Expand
  • Geographical barriers
  • Research and data analysis
  • Vast amounts of data
  • Privacy concerns
  • Digital divide
  • Dependency on technology
  • Interconnectedness
  • Innovations
  • Discoveries
  • Contention
  • Significant inventions
  • Accelerating the pace
What to do next:
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