In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the causes of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It is not enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison. Do you agree or disagree?

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There is no denying the fact that
crimes
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are more common In our society ,and we have to be careful about the causes of these
crimes
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.
While
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it is a commonly held belief that poverty and reduce of educational opportunities are the main causes of crime, there is
also
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an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that criminals
people
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have been a significant phenomenon in many regions.
To begin
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with, there are several factors to the rise In the number of
crimes
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.
In other words
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, the biggest elements are poverty and lack of education, these are contributing to increased criminal situations.
In addition
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, education is
also
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a significant thing for young
people
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and perhaps even controlling their minds
as well as
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morals.
For example
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, if youngsters were taught and well educated, they would be good members of our community and reduce the risks. Another point to consider
,
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apply
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is that policemen are not qualified to reduce their criminal behaviours. It is
also
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possible to say that, the government has been working on plans to create safe and secure communities
such
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as raising the number of police officers in neighbourhoods to ensure safety.
Moreover
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, criminal
people
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have
also
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utilised social media platforms to commit their
crimes
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.
For instance
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, if the government puts strict rules to tackle these problems, like monitoring their applications , we will be able to reduce the number of
crimes
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. In conclusion, despite
people
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having different views, I believe that the most effective way to tackle these issues is by focusing on everyone having a job and all members of society studying. Definitely, I agree that poverty and lack of education are caused by to rise of
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crimes
Fix the agreement mistake
crime
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.
Submitted by raghadyaseer2015 on

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task achievement
Ensure that the main argument is clearly presented and that it directly addresses the essay question. For example, if you believe addressing poverty is more critical than increasing police presence, make sure to state this explicitly.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs each with its own central point. Use linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Be careful with vocabulary choices and grammatical structures to increase clarity. Consider paring down complex sentences to avoid ambiguity.
task achievement
The essay identifies poverty and lack of education as key causes of crime and presents some potential solutions like job creation and accessible education.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains an introduction that sets context and a conclusion that summarizes the main points, which contribute to overall coherence.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • root causes of crime
  • criminal behavior
  • legitimate economic opportunities
  • enhancing educational opportunities
  • skills and qualifications
  • job prospects
  • economic disparities
  • social programs
  • economic empowerment
  • police presence
  • deter criminal activities
  • underlying issues
  • prison sentences
  • rehabilitate criminals
  • comprehensive rehabilitation programs
  • community-building efforts
  • social services
  • supportive environment
  • discourages criminal behavior
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