In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the causes of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It is not enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison. Do you agree or disagree?
There is no denying the fact that
crimes
are more common In our society ,and we have to be careful about the causes of these crimes
. While
it is a commonly held belief that poverty and reduce of educational opportunities are the main causes of crime, there is also
an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that criminals people
have been a significant phenomenon in many regions.
To begin
with, there are several factors to the rise In the number of crimes
. In other words
, the biggest elements are poverty and lack of education, these are contributing to increased criminal situations. In addition
, education is also
a significant thing for young people
and perhaps even controlling their minds as well as
morals. For example
, if youngsters were taught and well educated, they would be good members of our community and reduce the risks.
Another point to consider,
is that policemen are not qualified to reduce their criminal behaviours. It is Remove the comma
apply
also
possible to say that, the government has been working on plans to create safe and secure communities such
as raising the number of police officers in neighbourhoods to ensure safety. Moreover
, criminal people
have also
utilised social media platforms to commit their crimes
. For instance
, if the government puts strict rules to tackle these problems, like monitoring their applications , we will be able to reduce the number of crimes
.
In conclusion, despite people
having different views, I believe that the most effective way to tackle these issues is by focusing on everyone having a job and all members of society studying. Definitely, I agree that poverty and lack of education are caused by to rise of crimes
.Fix the agreement mistake
crime
Submitted by raghadyaseer2015 on
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task achievement
Ensure that the main argument is clearly presented and that it directly addresses the essay question. For example, if you believe addressing poverty is more critical than increasing police presence, make sure to state this explicitly.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs each with its own central point. Use linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Be careful with vocabulary choices and grammatical structures to increase clarity. Consider paring down complex sentences to avoid ambiguity.
task achievement
The essay identifies poverty and lack of education as key causes of crime and presents some potential solutions like job creation and accessible education.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains an introduction that sets context and a conclusion that summarizes the main points, which contribute to overall coherence.
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