IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages ?

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It is
matter
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a matter
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 for folk to take risks, both
on
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at
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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work
or
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and
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 in their regular lives.
This
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 essay will agree with the given statement because
risk
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 gives more opportunities and progress , despite the fact,
it
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that it
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 can be harmful and dangerous for
people
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.
Moreover
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,
risk
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in
Change the preposition
at
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 the moment can outweigh the
dangerous
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danger
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by
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of
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financial
Correct article usage
the financial
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 part. In terms of precipitation, the
dangerous
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danger
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from
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apply
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risk
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 can lead to
the
Correct article usage
a
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 critical situation when
people
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 hurt themselves,
and
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apply
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lose their abilities or become
hadicapped
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handicapped
,
however
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, the
done
Unnecessary verb
apply
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risk
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 can cost it.
For example
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, many
athelits
Correct your spelling
athletes
 can waste their health and become handicapped to reach their purpose of becoming the best in their sport.
Therefore
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,
money
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the money
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which
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apply
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they
will
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apply
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take can grip the
spendings
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spending
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 and
risk
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,
moreover
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, it can ensure
a
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apply
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future prosperity for their
housholds
Correct your spelling
households
. Despite the end of their career or early death. The main advantage of
risk
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 is always profit which
guarantee
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guarantees
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a
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apply
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self-confidence and happiness.
While
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, the given factors
is
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are
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 the main for some
people
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 and lead in their regular
live
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lives
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.
For instance
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, business is always a
risk
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 for citizens which
link
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links
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 lives with
this
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.
Therefore
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 it makes them more responsible and
teach
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teaches
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 them how to deal with other
people
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, despite the fact of
a
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apply
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possible poverty in circumstances with
thir
Correct your spelling
their
 failure. Notably,
risk
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 can make new
discovers
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discoveries
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 in miscellaneous spheres. In conclusion, the positive side of the
risk
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 which
people
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 take daily or at the moment includes great
posibilities
Correct your spelling
possibilities
, despite the fact of negative
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
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 which can be presented as
a
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apply
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poverty,
depresion
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depression
 or other factors.

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logical structure
Work on improving the overall logical structure of your essay. Some sentences can be made clearer and more logically connected to improve the flow of ideas.
supported main points
Ensure that your main points are fully supported with detailed examples. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more convincing.
clear comprehensive ideas
Try to elaborate more on your ideas to make them clearer and more comprehensive.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument effectively.
complete response
You have addressed the task by discussing both advantages and disadvantages, showing an understanding of the prompt.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
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