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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Most people accept that we now live in a globalized world but not everyone agrees that this is beneficial. To what extent is globalisation a positive or a negative development?

#people #world #globalisation #development
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Many
people
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 believe that we are living in a globalized world,
however
Linking Words
, not everyone believes it is useful. I personally believe that
globalization
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 is a positive development because it promotes global
solidarity
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, and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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has contributed positively to every aspect of our
lives
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. Living in a globalized world is useful because it promotes global
solidarity
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.
People
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 from different countries share their languages, cultures, customs and backgrounds because of
globalization
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.
People
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 travel to other countries and share their thoughts, ideas, and beliefs with other nationals.
Globalization
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 teaches
people
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 to accept and respect others' opinions and beliefs. It enhances global
solidarity
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 and brotherhood.
For example
Linking Words
, these days, because of
globalization
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, travel from one country to another has increased by 60%, and
people
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 share their thoughts and beliefs with each other.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
globalization
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 has brought positivity to our
lives
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. It has brought changes in every aspect of our
lives
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.
Globalization
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 has made our
lives
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 easier and faster.
Globalization
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 has contributed to education, communication, employment, entertainment and so on. Nowadays,
people
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 can achieve world-class education sitting at home. To add to it,
people
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 can communicate with others easily through the Internet. Numerous sources of entertainment
has
Change the verb form
have
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 become available because of
globalization
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.
For example
Linking Words
, around 70% of the public from the USA have said that because of
globalization
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, their
lives
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 have become more easier and comfortable. In conclusion, I agree that
globalization
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 is a positive development because it enhances global
solidarity
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 and brotherhood.
Globalization
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 has brought positive changes in our
lives
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to more clearly link each paragraph's main idea to the topic sentence for improved logical flow.
Task Achievement
Use more specific examples or data to back up claims made, e.g., "60% increase in travel."
Task Achievement
Efficiently addresses the prompt and provides a clear stance on globalization.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical and progresses smoothly from introduction to conclusion.
General Language Use
The language used is generally clear and effective throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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