Most countries aim to improve their standard of living through economic development, but many important social values can be lost as a result. Do the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?
Living in a great
country
with advanced economic development is a dream for every citizen, although
the social value of adaptation and living together might be lost in this
country
. Some people
opposed this
, but I believe improving the country
's economic standard is crucial and advantageous for several reasons.
On one hand, the first reason the advantages outweigh the drawbacks of loss of social value to enhance economic standards is increasing the economy of a country
created a good label of our country
as an economic sector, which allowed developed countries to invest in our country
. As a result
, citizens have an opportunity to get a better job with a higher income. For Example
, export-import cooperation of good commodities between Indonesia and China in 2015 increased around 20% the number of Indonesian workers working in China.
On the other hand
, upgraded country
economics encouraged people
to have a better quality of life
. However
, people
more to spend time
in the office because they have many responsibilities to finish, and they prefer to finish that first because they can get extra pay, which they able to provide their family with a better life
, in economics and education aspects. For instance
, research in Europe found that the majority of employee argue that 24 hours per day is not enough, because most of their time
to work, and limited time
to spend on their social life
. Moreover
, most of
Change preposition
apply
people
agree that having limited time
for social life
is reasonable, as long as they have a stable economic life
.
In Conclusion, improving the living standard of the country
is essential for the people
, even though the people
are less sensitive about social values. Improving economic development has the advantage of opening more job opportunities and enhancing people
's living level.Submitted by yannn
on
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Coherence & Cohesion
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Task Achievement
While you have supported your arguments with examples, make sure they clearly align with your main ideas. This will improve the clarity of your arguments.
Task Achievement
Try to elaborate more on your points to present a deeper and more comprehensive discussion on the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a clear start and summary to your essay.
Task Achievement
You provide a complete response to the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of economic development.
Task Achievement
You effectively use examples to support your main ideas.
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