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Band 2.5

Scientists believe that computers will become more intelligent than human beings. Some poeple find it is a positive trend while others think it is a negative development. Discuss both points and give your own opinion.

#scientists #computers #beings #poeple #trend #development #points
is it
considerd
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considered
 that the computers
has
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have
show examples
change
Change the verb form
changed
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alot
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a lot
 of
thinds
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things
 is the human beings
life
 . and is
be come
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become
show examples
 essay to
alot
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a lot
 some
things
 . the
computer
 nowadays
in
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is
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avrey
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every
a very
 hose in the world .
morever
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Moreover
 is
be come
Wrong verb form
an
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 essay to
lern
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learn a lot
alot
things
 .is make the
life
 essayer inside the human
life
. and
ther
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there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
things
 you can do
in
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on
show examples
 the
computer
 like , you
c an
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can
show examples
 pay
things
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for things
show examples
 on any website you want and you can
red
Verb problem
buy
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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useful
things
 othat go to the library and waste
youer
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your
 time , you can play video games.
in
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On
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 the other hand there
alot
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are a lot
 of positive
things
on
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with
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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computer
device
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devices
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. is dangerous for the children because there
is
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are
show examples
 some
things
 bad
to
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for
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 the
childern
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children
hawever
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but
is
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it
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 meits
make
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makes
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 the
peopel
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people
 not go outside the home
24
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for 24
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 hours on the
computer
. in my
opinion
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opinion,
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 the
computer
 is important
to be
Verb problem
apply
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in all the houses in the world because it
make
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makes
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
essayer
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easier
show examples
. the
computer
 device is very useful
to learn
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for learning
show examples
 something faster ,
and
Correct word choice
apply
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to
Change preposition
apply
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and
to chat
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chatting
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 with your friend.
last
and not list
Verb problem
least
show examples
 the
computer
devise
Replace the word
device
show examples
 is important in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
beings
Change noun form
beings'
being's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. and it
useful
Add a missing verb
is useful
show examples
 in
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
wayes
Correct your spelling
ways
show examples
.
Submitted by superalialhaddad on

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task achievement
Try to address the essay prompt more comprehensively. Ensure you discuss both viewpoints (positive and negative) as the prompt requests, and provide a balanced view. Additionally, make sure your opinion is clearly stated and supported with examples.
coherence cohesion
Organize the essay better by having clear introductory and concluding paragraphs. Introduce your main ideas in the introduction and summarize them in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Create clear topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader through your ideas. This will help increase the logical flow and coherence of your essay.
task achievement
You've recognized the importance of computers in improving lifestyle and easing tasks, which is a relevant point to the topic.
task achievement
You touched upon the potential negative aspects of computer use, like the impact on socializing, which shows awareness of multiple perspectives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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