Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. what are the advantages and disadvantages for the child having a large number of toys? Give your opinion on this.

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In childhood

eveyone's

Change noun form

eveyone

show examples

Replace the word

likes

show examples

toys

Use synonyms

to play with. There are numerous pros and cons for the

child

Use synonyms

having a copious amount of

miniature

Fix the agreement mistake

miniatures

show examples

. I concur that

play

Wrong verb form

playing

show examples

only with

toys

Use synonyms

can be a barrier

Change preposition

show examples

holistic

Add an article

the holistic

show examples

development of children.

This

Linking Words

essay will shed light on the reasons in upcoming paragraphs.

To begin

Linking Words

with,

to buy

Change the verb form

buying

show examples

gazillions of

toys

Use synonyms

for

pupil

Fix the agreement mistake

pupils

show examples

, can be

Change the article

show examples

easy way for

parents

Use synonyms

to handle stubborn children. Apart

form

Correct your spelling

from

show examples

this

Linking Words

, having a full range of

toys

Use synonyms

child

Use synonyms

is not demanding any other things which is extremely beneficial for

full time

Add a hyphen

full-time

show examples

parents

Use synonyms

as well as

Linking Words

they can escape from spending time with

Use synonyms

child

Correct pronoun usage

their child

show examples

situation with the help of

this

Linking Words

For instance

Linking Words

, a study

reveal

Wrong verb form

revealed

show examples

that 80% of

parents

Use synonyms

buys

Change the verb form

buy

show examples

a million

Change preposition

apply

show examples

toys

Use synonyms

for their little ones because they want to

Verb problem

keep

show examples

them busy in the circle,

therefore

Linking Words

, they can easily manage their hectic

shedule

Correct your spelling

schedule

However

Linking Words

, it is not good and

detriment

Replace the word

detrimental

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

Use synonyms

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

overall

Linking Words

growth and they

always

Add a missing verb

are always

show examples

stuck in only

toys

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

adolscents

Correct your spelling

adolescents

will not be able to develop any other

interest

Fix the agreement mistake

interests

show examples

like drawing, playing video games,

participate

Wrong verb form

participating

show examples

in any other

extra curriculum

Correct your spelling

extracurricular

show examples

activities so on.

Also

Linking Words

, to stay only

surround

Wrong verb form

surrounded

show examples

with

Change preposition

show examples

toys

Use synonyms

affect their mind growth as they will become less active and they will not have been

enthusiam

Correct your spelling

enthusiasm

towards any other activities. What is more, it can be costly for

parents

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

purchage

Correct your spelling

purchase

plently

Correct your spelling

plenty

toys

Use synonyms

Hence

Linking Words

, it leads to

exaggerate

Change the verb form

exaggerating

show examples

the

Change preposition

of the

show examples

expanses

Correct your spelling

expenses

show examples

To conclude

Linking Words

, in my view,

to buy

Change the verb form

buying

show examples

a great number of

toys

Use synonyms

for

Use synonyms

child

Add an article

a child

the child

show examples

can be harmful

for

Change the preposition

show examples

their physical, mental, and personal growth. It should be

in limit

Change preposition

limited

show examples

so that they can get

chance

Correct article usage

a chance

show examples

to explore and develop their interest in other things

also

Linking Words

jasvir1012kaurSun Oct 20 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve coherence, ensure a smoother transition between the points made in different paragraphs. Using transition phrases like 'On the other hand', 'Consequently', or 'In contrast' could help.

task achievement

Try to elaborate more on certain points and balance the explanation with examples. Including more detailed examples can enhance the task achievement score.

language

Refine grammatical structures and vocabulary usage. Some words seem slightly misspelled or misused, which affects the clarity of some arguments presented.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively summarize the main points.

task achievement

The writer has attempted to give reasons and examples to support the arguments, showing a clear engagement with the task.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

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Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. what are the advantages and disadvantages for the child having a large number of toys? Give your opinion on this.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

It will be better to have wide use of driverless cars for individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

You want to complain about the service that you received in the hotel you stayed in while attending a recent meeting. Write a letter to the person who organized the meeting. In the letter Describe the meeting Explain the problems with the service Suggest what the meeting organizer should do.

some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?