In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case Do you think this is a positive or negative situation

In the contemporary world, there have been different facilities for enhancing the quality of
people
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's
lives
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. In some countries, it is believed that one of the most essential factors for improving
people
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's life situations is having a
home
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. There are several reasons for that. We cannot deny that being ownership of our
home
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has many benefits, and I am going to elaborate on
this
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in the following. On the one hand, accommodation has been one of the basic needs.
People
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have tried hard to provide
this
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facility for their family members and themselves.
Furthermore
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, owning a
home
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can indicate the financial progress of each person.
Similarly
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,
people
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are considered the high level in society.
Therefore
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, they make their efforts to achieve
this
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sustainable development.
As a result
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, they experience great individual welfare.
Moreover
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, they do not need to move annually.
Hence
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, their stress can be controlled compared to
people
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who must relocate every year. They are not under pressure from landlords.
Consequently
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, they live more calmly.
On the other hand
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, the positive points of owning a
home
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can outweigh its negatives because when
people
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can stay longer in a place, they become familiar with their neighbours and neighbourhoods. They can foster their relationship with them and create a close-knit community.
Likewise
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, their children can continue to study in a specific school, and they do not lose their friends
due to
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any movements.
In addition
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, their stress is released, and they can pay enough attention to other aspects of their
lives
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, which leads them to be more successful in their
lives
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.
Moreover
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, better financial circumstances helped
people
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to maintain their stability. In conclusion,
although
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renting a house is sometimes inevitable for
people
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, owning a house can improve the quality of their
lives
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. I recommend that all
people
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put
this
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item in their priorities.

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task
State your view clearly in the introduction and restate it in the conclusion.
structure
Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence to guide the reader.
content
Add more real examples or facts to back up your points.
language
Check word use and grammar, for example 'ownership of our home' can be 'owning a home'.
cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like 'also', 'but', and 'therefore' to improve flow.
content
The idea that owning a home can give stability and less stress is clear.
structure
The essay uses 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to show compare.
content
Examples about neighbours and school show how home life affects others.
structure
The conclusion restates the main idea.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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