IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar charts show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar charts show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart compares the information
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 UK postgraduate and graduate
students
Use synonyms
’
destination
Fix the agreement mistake
destinations
show examples
 which is segmented into four groups,
include
Wrong verb form
including
show examples
 part-time employment, voluntary work,
further
Linking Words
 study and unemployment after college in 2008. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is obvious that the inclination towards
further
Linking Words
 education is remarkably high for both groups of
students
Use synonyms
. The
graduated
Replace the word
graduate
show examples
 showed a significant orientation towards
pursing
Correct your spelling
pursuing
show examples
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 academic journey. Notably, 29665
students
Use synonyms
’ participation in higher education made it a first option.
In addition
Linking Words
, part-time
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 and unemployment, with a small difference between them, were the second options for graduates. In stark contrast, only a few graduated
students
Use synonyms
 engaged in voluntary work, highlighting its low popularity. Moving to postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
, they illustrated
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar trend,
due to
Linking Words
 the majority of
students
Use synonyms
 opting
Linking Words
further
Change preposition
for further
show examples
 study. It is noticeable that 2725 postgraduates participated in higher education
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is close to the hired
students
Use synonyms
 in part-time jobs.
Conversely
Linking Words
, voluntary activities were the least popular
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 among postgraduates, even considering
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 date, it
is
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 lower than that of the graduated.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: