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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar charts show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar charts show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #show #uk #graduate #students #work #college #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart compares the information
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 UK postgraduate and graduate
students
’
destination
Fix the agreement mistake
destinations
show examples
 which is segmented into four groups,
include
Wrong verb form
including
show examples
 part-time employment, voluntary work,
further
 study and unemployment after college in 2008. Looking from an
overall
 perspective, it is obvious that the inclination towards
further
 education is remarkably high for both groups of
students
. The
graduated
Replace the word
graduate
show examples
 showed a significant orientation towards
pursing
Correct your spelling
pursuing
show examples
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 academic journey. Notably, 29665
students
’ participation in higher education made it a first option.
In addition
, part-time
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 and unemployment, with a small difference between them, were the second options for graduates. In stark contrast, only a few graduated
students
 engaged in voluntary work, highlighting its low popularity. Moving to postgraduate
students
, they illustrated
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar trend,
due to
 the majority of
students
 opting
further
Change preposition
for further
show examples
 study. It is noticeable that 2725 postgraduates participated in higher education
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is close to the hired
students
 in part-time jobs.
Conversely
, voluntary activities were the least popular
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 among postgraduates, even considering
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 date, it
is
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 lower than that of the graduated.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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