In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In numerous nations, a minority of individuals can receive exceptionally high wages. Many people agree that
this
can bring about various benefits for the
country
.
However
, others completely oppose
this
view and claim that governments should refrain
the
Change preposition
from the
show examples
pay scale at a defined level. From my perspective, I firmly agree with the former opinion.
This
essay will elaborate on these two
judgemnet
Correct your spelling
judgments
,
along with
the rationale behind the answer. To commence with,
countries
will definitely receive a wide range of benefits if they set high
salaries
for employees
in particular
aspects. Because, it is
apparently
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apparent
show examples
that income
play
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plays
show examples
a significant role in
people
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people's
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life, which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
them able to afford the cost of living.
Therefore
, substantial incomes will encourage people to devote themselves to the development of the
countries
.
Furthermore
,
countries
that provide elevated
salaries
will attract high-quality
talents
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talent
show examples
.
Therefore
, thanks to the professional workforce, the productivity of industry, technology,
infrastructure
Correct word choice
and infrastructure
show examples
will be improved, which can
driven
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drive
show examples
the
country
to thrive. One prevalent
examples
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example
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is that almost developed
countries
tend to pay their employees working in important
domain
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domains
show examples
such
as science,
technology
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and technology
show examples
with exorbitant wages. Moving to the second school of thought, implementing
maximum
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a maximum
show examples
wage limit
cause
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causes
show examples
more negative
impact
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impacts
show examples
than positive.
Eventhough
Correct your spelling
Even
,
restricting
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though restricting
show examples
salaries
at a certain point can
narrower
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narrow
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the income disparities, which can reduce the cost of living,
alleviate
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and alleviate
show examples
the financial pressure for inhabitants. The drawbacks of
this
idea for the
country
is
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are
show examples
explicit. The brain drain phenomenon will happen when the
country
can meet the demand of workers in
salaries
, which can boost them to migrate to
countries
which offer well-paid jobs.
As a result
,
countries
that lack
of
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apply
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highly skilled
worker
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workers
show examples
will unlikely to thrive
at
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in
show examples
economy
Add an article
the economy
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, or even drive
the
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apply
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society to the edge of obsolete. In conclusion, I believe that the prosperity of a
nations
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nation
show examples
hinges on how the governments treat their talents. The higher the compensation, the more it propels
nation
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national
show examples
development.
As individuals
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Individuals
show examples
are inherently motivated by financial rewards that reflect their efforts.
Submitted by elsenglish16992 on

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coherence cohesion
Expand on the current structure by more clearly organizing each point into separate paragraphs. This will enhance the logical structure and make the essay easier to follow.
task achievement
Try to improve the clarity of your main points and arguments by using more connecting words and phrases. This will help achieve clearer and more comprehensive ideas.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear and balanced discussion of both views and presents a personal opinion effectively in the introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Good use of relevant examples to support main points, such as the mention of brain drain and the impact of high salaries in developed countries.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • incentivize
  • discrepancy
  • inequality
  • social cohesion
  • equitable distribution
  • wealth concentration
  • talent retention
  • global competitiveness
  • social unrest
  • innovate
  • government intervention
  • salary cap
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