The diagram below describes the structure of a home smokery and how it works. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below describes the structure of a  home smokery and how it works. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagram presents the different processing procedures to create olive
oil
. The data includes seven major stages.
Overall
, there are various steps to be able to manufacture olive
oil
.
This
initially
Add a missing verb
is initially
show examples
made
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
getting the fruit from the olive tree into the
last
stage which includes storage and sales of the product. In detail, in order to create olive
oil
,
the first step is
picking the olives from the tree and placed in a box to undergo a rinsing process using cold water. After that, olives are positioned in a conveyor belt and will
then
be smashed to separate the paste from the olive stones.
Furthermore
, to fully extract the
oil
from the olives, it must be placed into a bag with holes and pressed hard using the pressing machine. Now, the fully extracted paste is placed in a machine where it will separate water and
oil
.
Lastly
, the
oil
is stored in tubes or containers and will be ready for selling.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words oil with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • firebox
  • smoke generation
  • underground passage
  • smoking chamber
  • smoke flow
  • vent
  • consistent flow
  • smoked flavor
  • indirect heat
  • structure
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