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Writing Samples
Band 7

Scientists have been warning for many years that to protect the environment, we have to limit the use of energy in a daily lives. Despite warning many people do not attention to this. What are the reasons for this and how can people be encouraged to save the environment?

#scientists #years #environment #limit #energy #lives #people #attention
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Scientists have been giving warnings for so long to protect the environment, and they encourage us to limit the
use
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 of
energy
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 in our daily
lives
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.
However
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, many
people
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 do not pay attention to
this
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 because they solely depend on
energy
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 for their living, and using
energy
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 has made their
lives
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 faster and easier. To solve
this
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 problem, the
government
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 should arrange
campaigns
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 to raise awareness among the public, and
children
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 should learn to minimize the
use
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 of
energy
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 from their childhood.
People
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 mostly depend on
energy
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 in each aspect of their
lives
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. They
use
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energy
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 in their
lives
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 in various ways,
such
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 as cooking, cleaning, studying, enjoying and so on.
Moreover
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, using
energy
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 makes their
lives
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 easier and faster.
People
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 can complete their tasks on time using
energy
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. If they
use
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energy
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, they do not have to invest in manual labour to complete their tasks.
For example
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,
while
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 washing clothes,
people
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use
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 a washing machine which is operated by
energy
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.
People
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 do not invest in manual labour to do
this
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, and it has made their
lives
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 comfortable. To encourage
people
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 to minimize the
use
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 of
energy
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, the
government
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 can arrange
campaigns
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. In
campaigns
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, the
government
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 can circulate the harmful effects of using
energy
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 to raise awareness among the public.
Furthermore
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,
children
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 should learn to minimize the harmful effects of using
energy
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 in their schools. If they learn it, they will minimize the
use
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 of
energy
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 or find an
alternative
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 source of
energy
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 in their adulthood.
For instance
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, in Japan, those
children
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 who learn about the usefulness of
alternative
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energy
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 sources, become interested in
alternative
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energy
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 sources when they become adults. In conclusion,
people
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 depend on
energy
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 in every aspect of their
lives
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, and
energy
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 has made their
lives
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 comfortable. To solve
this
Linking Words
 problem, the
government
Use synonyms
 should arrange
campaigns
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 to raise awareness, and
children
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 should learn to
use
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alternative
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energy
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 sources.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task achievement
To strengthen the task response, consider expanding on the solutions given. Elaborate further on how campaigns could be effective and provide more details on alternative energy education for children.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and transitions smoothly from one idea to the next to enhance coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples or data to back up your claims regarding the ease and comfort provided by energy use.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that frame the discussion well and provide a good sense of closure.
logical structure
The essay is logically organized, with distinct sections for problem identification and solution proposal.
supported main points
Examples and points are relevant and support the main idea effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental sustainability
  • carbon footprint
  • energy-efficient appliances
  • renewable energy
  • conservation measures
  • sustainability campaigns
  • climate change
  • awareness
  • incentives
  • tax rebates
  • green technology
  • eco-friendly habits
  • government legislation
  • sustainable living
  • renewable resources
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