Themgraph says average expenditure of weekly onvoc e in consumer goofd

This
horizontal line graph illustrates the average expenditure of families
in
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on
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different items from their weekly
income
in two different years
of
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apply
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1964 and 2018.
Overall
,
Correct article usage
the costs
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costs
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cost
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of food was high and the charge of
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
was low compared to the two given years. Costs of personal
expenses
, transport and leisure increased compared to the past. People
spend
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spent
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35% of
money
Add an article
the money
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from their weekly
income
on food in the
year
of
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apply
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1968, and in 2018, it reduced
signilficantly
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significantly
by 18%. For housing, people
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
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10% of their
income
in 1968, which increased by 19% in the
year
of 2018. The
costs
Fix the agreement mistake
cost
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of household goods was 8% of weekly
income
which was the same in both years. In 2018, the
expenses
of personal goods, transport and leisure increased compared to the
year
of 1968.
However
, in the
year
of 2018, the
expenses
increased in these three areas. In 2018, the
expenses
of these three items
was
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were
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below 10%
however
, in the
year
of
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apply
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2018 all these
expenses
increased.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task achievement
Clarify how the comparison between the years support the main topic.
coherence cohesion
Introduce a more explicit conclusion to wrap up the comparison effectively.
task achievement
The introduction clearly presents the data being analyzed - expenditure on household items over different years.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear comparative analysis of the two different years, focusing on key expenditure areas.
coherence cohesion
There's a logical sequence in the presentation of data, which generally follows a clear order.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Summary
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