IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The pie charts below show the percentage of five kinds of books sold by a bookseller between 1972 and 2012.

The pie charts below show the percentage of five kinds of books sold by a bookseller between 1972 and 2012.
#show #percentage #five #kinds #books #bookseller
The pie chart gives information about the proportion of five different kinds of
books
 sold by a bookseller between 1972 and 2012.
It is clear that
 both
Adult
 and
children’s
fiction
 had an upward trend,
while
 Biography,
Travel
 and Others had a downward trend.
In addition
 to
this
, the greatest change belonged to the genre of
Adult
fiction
 over the period. In 1972,
Adult
fiction
,
children’s
 and biography
books
 had the same proportion, at 20%.
While
 Other
books
 were the highest, at 25%,
travel
books
 were the lowest in
this
 category.From 1972 to 1992,
Adult
fiction
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased slightly, from 20% to 25%, became the highest.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
,
children’s
fiction
 and
travel
books
 were climbed, from 20% to 22% and from 15% to 18% respectively.
By contrast
,
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
books
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased significantly, from 25% to 20% In 2012,
Adult
fiction
books
 saw the greatest
changed
Replace the word
change
show examples
, from 25% to 45%.
In addition
,
children’s
fiction
books
 were increased from 22% to 25%.
However
, Others and
travel
books
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased dramatically, from 20% to 12% and from 18% to 10% respectively.
Beside
Correct your spelling
Besides
show examples
, biography
books
were fell
Change the verb form
fell
show examples
 from 15% to 8%,
became
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
 the lowest.
Submitted by midden-02.tore on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words books, adult, children’s, fiction, travel with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: