Many offenders commit more crimes after their first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?
Today,it is true that a lot of criminals after finishing the first punishment of the poison, commit more
crimes
again.There are several reasons for this
happening and measures need to be taken to tackle the problem.
The main reason for this
situation is that offenders have left society for a longer time contributes to not adjust original life
.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
This
means that criminals have served the punishmentfor
Correct your spelling
punishment for
punishment
aperiod
of time,Correct your spelling
a period
period
they
always do the same activity and obey the police’s orders.Correct word choice
and they
As a result
,a part of offenders when they leave the poison, can not communicate with other people and are devoid of work abilities such
as being a store clerk but they don’t work along
. Another reason is that the public has different views of them.Correct your spelling
alone
For example
,people will stay away from these poisoners if somebody asks what they have done before.Also
, employers will not give them a job because people mark them who commit
some Wrong verb form
committed
crimes
in the past.
Various measures could be taken to tackle this
situation.Government
needs to have an education before they finish the first punishment soon.Add an article
The government
For instance
,the government should give them professional education and choose some jobs to give them,when they have a stable incomes
,it is possible that they commit more Correct the article-noun agreement
income
crimes
again.Also
,by being careful about having effective communication and psychological support once a week,they will understand somebody is still kind to them.
In conclusion,there are several reasons for this
situation.Various measures could be taken to reduce offenders committing more crimes
again and help them start a second life when they leave the
prisonCorrect article usage
apply
Submitted by a0953957266 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your points. Specific examples strengthen your argument and help the reader understand the context better.
coherence cohesion
Focus on refining the logical flow between paragraphs and ideas. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, enhancing the overall coherence of the essay. This will help convey your ideas in a more organized manner.
introduction conclusion
Good introduction that clearly presents the topic and problem at hand.
task achievement
The essay addresses the question directly by discussing both reasons and solutions, which shows a strong understanding of the task.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite