Many offenders commit more crimes after their first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

#offenders #crimes #first #punishment #measures

Today,it is true that a lot of criminals after finishing the first punishment of the poison, commit more

crimes

again.There are several reasons for

this

happening and measures need to be taken to tackle the problem. The main reason for

this

situation is that offenders have left society for a longer time contributes to not adjust original

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

This

means that criminals have served the

punishmentfor

Correct your spelling

punishment for

punishment

aperiod

Correct your spelling

a period

period

of time,

they

Correct word choice

and they

show examples

always do the same activity and obey the police’s orders.

As a result

,a part of offenders when they leave the poison, can not communicate with other people and are devoid of work abilities

such

as being a store clerk but they don’t work

along

Correct your spelling

alone

show examples

. Another reason is that the public has different views of them.

For example

,people will stay away from these poisoners if somebody asks what they have done before.

Also

, employers will not give them a job because people mark them who

commit

Wrong verb form

committed

show examples

some

crimes

in the past. Various measures could be taken to tackle

this

situation.

Government

Add an article

The government

show examples

needs to have an education before they finish the first punishment soon.

For instance

,the government should give them professional education and choose some jobs to give them,when they have a stable

incomes

Correct the article-noun agreement

income

show examples

,it is possible that they commit more

crimes

again.

Also

,by being careful about having effective communication and psychological support once a week,they will understand somebody is still kind to them. In conclusion,there are several reasons for

this

situation.Various measures could be taken to reduce offenders committing more

crimes

again and help them start a second life when they leave

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

prison

Submitted by a0953957266 on Mon Oct 21 2024

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task achievement

Consider providing more specific examples to support your points. Specific examples strengthen your argument and help the reader understand the context better.

coherence cohesion

Focus on refining the logical flow between paragraphs and ideas. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, enhancing the overall coherence of the essay. This will help convey your ideas in a more organized manner.

introduction conclusion

Good introduction that clearly presents the topic and problem at hand.

task achievement

The essay addresses the question directly by discussing both reasons and solutions, which shows a strong understanding of the task.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

recidivism
rehabilitation programs
social stigma
ex-convicts
reintegration
support systems
mental health issues
addiction problems
criminal networks
incarceration

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

You saw an advert in the newspaper asking for volunteers to help run a charity event. Write a letter of application to the organizers. In your letter: -explain why you are interested in helping -Give details suitable past experience -suggest ways you might help with the event.

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Nowadays many teenagers choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Some people think that sports involving violence, such as boxing and martial arts, should be banned from TV as well as from international sporting competitions. To what extent do you agree?

In some countries, owning a home rather renting one is more important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this a positive or a negative development?