IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The school library is seeking applicants for a job over summer break. Write a letter to the library’s manager, in your letter include: - A brief introduction of yourself - Your experience and relevant skills - Why you want the job Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses.

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Dear Sir/Madam, My name is Keyhan and I am writing to apply for the position in the library that the school printed in the local newspaper yesterday. First of all, I should mention my interest in the field of bookkeeping, bookselling and any other tasks related to books.
second,
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I have known more than one hundred authors and their books with the name and almost can claim that I have read them all.
In addition
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, I worked in the Claid school library since 2012 and I quit the job
due to
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 a physical problem in 2020. Self-evidently, I have sufficient experience in
this
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 regard and know the school children and the way one should deal and behave with them. I am sure that if I start the work over there you will see a great amount of satisfaction from the students side. Ultimately, please find my resume which is attached to
this
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 letter. I am looking forward to working with you and am available for
further
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 information if you need any time. Thank you Yours sincerely Keyhan Ebrahimi

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coherence cohesion
To enhance your response, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single theme. Your letter mixed personal experience and reasons for wanting the job together. Organize your paragraphs to separately address your introduction, experiences and skills, and your motivation for the job.
task achievement
For a more suitable response, elaborate on how your skills and experiences uniquely qualify you for this job. Mention specific duties you've previously handled that relate to the new role. Additionally, explain more deeply why you want the job — beyond familiarity with books and the satisfaction of students, why does this role appeal to you personally?
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammar, punctuation, and capitalization to increase the professionalism of your letter. For instance, ensure proper use of capital letters at the beginning of sentences and for proper nouns. Avoid run-on sentences by properly punctuating or splitting complex thoughts.
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