Some people think that money spent on protecting wild animals would be better than spending on improving the lives of the human population. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #money #animals #lives #population

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Nowadays, human beings are facing various kinds of problems,

such

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as the pollution of the environment, unemployment, or the inflation of the living budget. In terms of the distribution of the finances, some

people

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suggest the

government

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should spend money on the protection of

animals

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, rather than the improvement of humans'

lives

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. From my perspective, I partially disagree with that count. Humans who support protecting wild

animals

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feel these creatures play an important role in the ecosystem. If

people

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are not concerned about their existence and make them disappear, it may cause an unprecedented aftermath. In these years, we often hear about the defilement of the habitat of

animals

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as a result

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of poaching and plunder of precious resources.

Moreover

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, wild

animals

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have been in underprivileged situations.

Therefore

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, the

government

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should spend a fortune on priority to conserve the natural reserve where

animals

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and plants live and

also

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allocate money first to protect sundry species in order to strike a balance of the ecology. As far as I am concerned, it is important to protect these

animals

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because their balances

also

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help

people

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to survive in

this

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world.

However

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, I think taking care of humanity's

lives

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is equally significant. There are a large number of difficulties in society,

such

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as famine, natural disasters, poverty, and so on. Some human beings face those problems above in different regions. The

government

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in every country should strive to cope with these issues. If they do not consider

people

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lives

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in the first place, it may spoil

people

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's trust in the

government

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Additionally

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, there is always a prevalent inclination in the public that humankind's well-being has precedence over other things. In a nutshell,

although

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people

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have to care about

animals

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lives

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and

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apply

show examples

the

government

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, organizations or the multitude can provide the finances and donations to support their living. Simultaneously, the authorities take responsibility for improving

people

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lives

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Submitted by hayashidajinja820 on Tue Oct 22 2024

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Task Response

Try to provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your task response and make your essay more compelling.

Coherence and Cohesion

While your essay has a logical structure, consider using more varied cohesive devices to enhance the flow between ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your introduction clearly sets up the essay's topic and your stance, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points.

Task Response

You effectively present a balanced view on the topic, acknowledging both sides of the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

313 words

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Some people think that money spent on protecting wild animals would be better than spending on improving the lives of the human population. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

When researching people's personalities and abilities, scientists debate the role that their biological genes play compared to the impact of their environment, including their experiences as they grow up. Which do you think is a more powerful influence– genetics or environment? Why?

Today, many young people spend too much of their free time at shopping malls. This can considered negative for young people and society generally. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some countries ,there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?

Task 2 Young people are much more aware of and concerned about issues like the environment, poverty, and animal welfare than previous generations. what is your own opinion?