Some people think that money spent on protecting wild animals would be better than spending on improving the lives of the human population. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #money #animals #lives #population

Nowadays, human beings are facing various kinds of problems,

such

as the pollution of the environment, unemployment, or the inflation of the living budget. In terms of the distribution of the finances, some

people

suggest the

government

should spend money on the protection of

animals

, rather than the improvement of humans'

lives

. From my perspective, I partially disagree with that count. Humans who support protecting wild

animals

feel these creatures play an important role in the ecosystem. If

people

are not concerned about their existence and make them disappear, it may cause an unprecedented aftermath. In these years, we often hear about the defilement of the habitat of

animals

as a result

of poaching and plunder of precious resources.

Moreover

, wild

animals

have been in underprivileged situations.

Therefore

, the

government

should spend a fortune on priority to conserve the natural reserve where

animals

and plants live and

also

allocate money first to protect sundry species in order to strike a balance of the ecology. As far as I am concerned, it is important to protect these

animals

because their balances

also

help

people

to survive in

this

world.

However

, I think taking care of humanity's

lives

is equally significant. There are a large number of difficulties in society,

such

as famine, natural disasters, poverty, and so on. Some human beings face those problems above in different regions. The

government

in every country should strive to cope with these issues. If they do not consider

people

lives

in the first place, it may spoil

people

's trust in the

government

Additionally

, there is always a prevalent inclination in the public that humankind's well-being has precedence over other things. In a nutshell,

although

people

have to care about

animals

lives

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

the

government

, organizations or the multitude can provide the finances and donations to support their living. Simultaneously, the authorities take responsibility for improving

people

lives

Submitted by hayashidajinja820 on Tue Oct 22 2024

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Task Response

Try to provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your task response and make your essay more compelling.

Coherence and Cohesion

While your essay has a logical structure, consider using more varied cohesive devices to enhance the flow between ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your introduction clearly sets up the essay's topic and your stance, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points.

Task Response

You effectively present a balanced view on the topic, acknowledging both sides of the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

313 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that money spent on protecting wild animals would be better than spending on improving the lives of the human population. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

With the rise of e-books comes the decline in paper books. Some people see this as a good step forward while others do not. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

All children should study a foreign language in school in school, starting in the earliest grades. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.