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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Environmental issues are increasing day to day. There are disputed opinions regarding environmental problems.
Towards
Change preposition
apply
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, where some are of the viewpoint that endangered plants and wildlife are the most pivotal
problem
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
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current
Correct article usage
the current
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 time,
whereas
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 others
counter argue
Add a hyphen
counter-argue
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 and claim that there are numerous crucial environmental issues.
Therefore
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, before commenting on my opinion, both views
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 be elaborated
in
Change preposition
on in
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 the ensuing paragraphs. On the
one
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 hand, there are a plethora of reasons why some people believe that the loss of particular species of flora and fauna is the most dangerous
problem
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
for
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 the environment. The most pivotal
one
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 is that it has a pessimistic impact on the food chain. By
this
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, I mean that if any
one
Use synonyms
 species is extinct, which is
one
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 of the sources of food for other animals, it will develop a serious issue
on
Change preposition
in
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 the natural food chain.
Furthermore
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, another striking reason is that it has a negative effect on innovation or making medicine.
In other words
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, some plants are essential to make some drugs.
On the other hand
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, those who stand by the latter view have their own claims.
To begin
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 with, air pollution is an important
problem
Use synonyms
 in
this
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 era.
This
Linking Words
 is because it is harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
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 human beings, and
also
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 the number of patients with lungs is rising with time.
One
Use synonyms
 good illustration is Delhi city; there is the highest number of
this
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 kind of patient
due to
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 air pollution.
Moreover
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, the second important
problem
Use synonyms
 is chopping trees.
This
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 is the fact that there are two main problems,
such
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 as flooding and declining oxygen levels owing to reducing the number of trees. 
To sum up
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 and offer my position,
according to
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 the aforementioned points, it is clearly evident that both views have their importance.
However
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, I firmly support the latter view rather than the former view because air and water pollution are very dangerous for human lives because of some
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
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, flooding,
as well as
Linking Words
 increasing carbon dioxide.

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relevant specific examples
Try to provide more specific examples or data to strengthen your arguments. For instance, cite studies or statistics where applicable.
logical structure
Ensure each paragraph contains a clear main idea and supporting details. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on connecting your ideas more smoothly. Using linking words like 'furthermore', 'in addition', and 'nevertheless' can help maintain flow between parts of your argument.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively introduces both sides of the debate and sets up the discussion well.
complete response
You've successfully highlighted some key environmental issues and provided reasons why each side might hold their view.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your conclusion neatly summarizes your discussion and clearly states your personal opinion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
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