Some people think that the internet makes a person more sociable, while others think it makes a person less sociable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some
people
think the internet
makes them more sociable, while
others
think it makes a person less interactive in real life. This
essay will discuss why this
is the case and why I think the internet
makes people
communicate more.
Social media creates a space for people
to interact with each other, providing communities with the same interest and encouraging a person who is introverted to open up their boundaries and form a relationship. For example
, game communities are formed by a group of gamers who are fascinated by the same virtual concepts and some may feel uneasy about discussing this
topic in public. Moreover
, social media platforms give a place to maintain long-distance relationships. Individuals from different places can talk to each other, mitigating the separation problem. Hence
, the internet
encourages people
to interact and form a community together.
However
, others
are concerned that the internet
may have an effect on how people
communicate in real life. Excessive use of the internet
can harm a person's ability to talk or engage in real-world conversation. For instance
, some people
who are always on their phone chatting will likely lose the ability to have a face-to-face situation due to
no
courage to face Add a missing verb
having no
others
or cannot perceive
how normal conversations are. Fix the infinitive
to perceive
Therefore
, exposure to the internet
too much can lead to losing the ability to talk to others
in reality.
To conclude
, the internet
provides a space for people
to deepen their connection and forms a group of the same interests, encouraging people
to speak. However
if someone is exposed to the Add a comma
However,
internet
too much they might lose some capability to speak in the real world.Submitted by krittaphastaishan on
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task achievement
Ensure consistency in your argument. While your conclusion supports the idea that the internet makes people more sociable, make sure the discussion is balanced throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Use more cohesive devices to link ideas between paragraphs or sentences more clearly. This will improve the flow and make your argument more compelling.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples to illustrate your points. This will make your arguments more compelling and help clarify your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly outlines the two perspectives and your stance. It sets up the essay well for discussion.
task achievement
The essay presents relevant and specific points arguing both sides of the topic.
task achievement
You've effectively included an example about online game communities to illustrate how the internet fosters sociability.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically organized with distinct paragraphs for each perspective.
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