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Writing Samples /
Band 6

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. • Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. • Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #railway #systems #six #cities #features #comparisons
The provided table compares six metropolises in terms of
railway
 opening date,
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
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 of route, and annual passengers.
Overall
,
Although
Correct article usage
the Lnondon
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Lnondon
Correct your spelling
London
railway
 is the oldest and the longest, Tokyo
overtake
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overtakes
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 it in the number of commuters per year. London Underground
railway
Capitalize word
Railway
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 which was established
at
Change preposition
in
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 1863,
while
 , Paris station, opened 27 years later, has managed to attract 416 more travellers each year.
However
, Tokyo, the
tirth
Correct your spelling
birth
 opened
railway
,
at
Change preposition
in
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 1927, overtakes all stations in terms of commuters, with 1927 passengers annually using
this
 system. Los Angeles,
on the other hand
, is the newest
railway
, opened
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2001, 20 years after Kyoto's
railway
 was founded, and with 50 and 45 annual commuters respectively, they are the
least used
Add a hyphen
least-used
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railway
 stations. Looking at
railway's
Correct article usage
the railway's
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lenght
Correct your spelling
length
 in more detail, London overtakes all countries by 394
kilometers
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kilometres
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lenght
Correct your spelling
length
. Paris'
railway
lenght
Correct your spelling
length
 is half of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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London
Change noun form
London's
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.
Moreover
, with only 11
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
Change preposition
in lenght
show examples
lenght
Correct your spelling
length
, almost half of Los Angeles, Kyoto is the shortest
railway
 system.
Submitted by ghazalmoosavi79 on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words railway, lenght with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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