Most countries aim to improve their standard of living through economic development, but many important social values can be lost as a result. Do the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #aim #development #values

It is widely debated that it is vital for many nations to improve better quality of living for

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

people through economics, others argue that

such

emphasis could contribute to the

lost

Replace the word

loss

show examples

of several essential social values.

Hence

, I personally agree with the former

statment

Correct your spelling

statement

this

can alleviate the highly intensive competition which in

turns

Fix the agreement mistake

turn

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

will be elaborated on in

this

essay.

To begin

with, it seems sensible for some to believe that some social values might

be vanished

Wrong verb form

vanish

show examples

due to

the growth of economics.

This

possibly

Replace the adverb

possible

show examples

because we

lived

Wrong verb form

live

show examples

in a

fiercely

Change the adverb

fierce

show examples

fight of consumerism world in order to make

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

ends meet. In

this

sense, many might though that it gradually cultivated people to become more selfish.

However

, many opponents of

this

idea

along with

myself would

opposed

Change the verb form

oppose

be opposed

show examples

that it can reduce the tension of people

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

struggling to survive and leave some room for them to appreciate some social value like they used to as they have less worried about their basic standard

living

Change preposition

of living

show examples

. To simply explain,

according to

maslow

Change the capitalization

Maslow

show examples

theory when we obtain basic needs we

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

develop and

then

proceed to pay attention to something more

emtional

Correct your spelling

emotional

which is the key to

maintain

Wrong verb form

maintaining

show examples

social

value

Fix the agreement mistake

values

show examples

like harmony and empathy toward others.

That is

why I believe that if they could become

financial

Change the word

financially

show examples

independent they

can

Wrong verb form

could

show examples

care for others. In summary,

although

it is undeniable that some social

value

Fix the agreement mistake

values

show examples

might be neglected

as a result

of financial focus from the governments, I am of the opinion that its

benefit

Fix the agreement mistake

benefits

show examples

outweight

Correct your spelling

outweigh

outweighs

its detrimental effects of creating

selfishness

Replace the word

a selfish

show examples

society.

Submitted by kamonluck1999 on Tue Oct 22 2024

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grammar vocabulary

Ensure consistent and correct use of grammar and vocabulary throughout your essay to enhance clarity of arguments.

examples

Provide more specific examples or data to strengthen your argument and illustrate your points more effectively.

sentence clarity

Revise some sentences for better clarity and precision, as certain parts are difficult to understand.

structure

Make sure the introduction clearly outlines the main points that will be discussed, and the conclusion succinctly summarizes the arguments made.

balanced argument

The essay attempts to address both sides of the argument regarding economic development and social values.

introduction clarity

The introduction presents a clear stance favoring the economic-driven approach for improving standards of living.

supporting theory

Key concepts like Maslow's theory are introduced to support the argument, showcasing an effort to link ideas logically.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

standard of living
economic development
quality of life
infrastructure
healthcare
education
job opportunities
unemployment
poverty
technological advancements
innovation
traditional cultural values
social bonds
material wealth
consumerism
social inequality
environmental conservation
wealth gap
vulnerable groups

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Most countries aim to improve their standard of living through economic development, but many important social values can be lost as a result. Do the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

some people believe that if people are not allowed to work after the age of 60, it cause problems. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people argue that it is the responsibility of the police to educate children about good behavior, whereas others believe that parents should be responsible for children. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

advertising has become increasingly popular in different markets. Firms are using various forms of advertising to popularize the novelty of their products to the public for additional profit

chools have the social responsibility to discourage children from eating junk food. Others think it is the parent's responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.