With the increased global demands in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened to access more resources. To what extent do you agree?

Some people believe that because of the increasing global
demands
Fix the agreement mistake
demand
show examples
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
gas and oil, undiscovered areas of the
world
should be explored to find more
resources
. I completely disagree with
this
viewpoint because we should find more
alternative
resources
because they are beneficial for the
environment
, and natural
resources
should be preserved for the
future
. To meet the increasing global demands
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
gas and oil, we should find
alternative
resources
because they are good for the
environment
. Oil, gas and other natural
resources
are harmful to the
environment
. Excessive
use
of natural
resources
for a long time detrimentally impacts the
environment
.
Therefore
, if new and
alternative
resources
can be discovered, it will be beneficial for the
environment
. Take electric vehicles as an example. If people
use
electric vehicles
instead
of fuel-driven vehicles,
air
Correct article usage
the air
show examples
will be less polluted.
Moreover
, we should not
use
natural
resources
from the undiscovered areas of the
world
because they should be preserved for the
future
. If we
use
all the available natural
resources
from the undiscovered areas of the
world
, our
future
generations
will suffer a lot because
here
Correct your spelling
there
show examples
will be no
resources
left for them. We should think about our
future
generations
and leave something for them.
For example
, Qatar has already taken
initiative
Add an article
the initiative
show examples
of preserving natural
oli
Correct your spelling
oil
for its
future
generations
. In conclusion, I completely disagree with the point we should
use
all natural
resources
from the undiscovered
world
. We should find
alternative
resources
for the
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
show examples
of the
environment
and leave some natural
resources
for
our
Change the word
the
show examples
next
generations
.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure a comprehensive exploration of all sides of the argument. Although you have made your stance clear, discussing counterarguments briefly can enhance your essay.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the connection between paragraphs for improved flow. Using linking words and phrases to show contrast and support can enhance the logical flow.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion that clearly states your position.
supported main points
Relevant examples support your main points, such as the reference to electric vehicles and Qatar's initiative.
task achievement
Ideas are well-developed, and your position is consistently supported throughout the essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: