IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

With the increased global demands in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened to access more resources. To what extent do you agree?

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Some people believe that because of the increasing global
demands
Fix the agreement mistake
demand
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in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 gas and oil, undiscovered areas of the
world
Use synonyms
 should be explored to find more
resources
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. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint because we should find more
alternative
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resources
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 because they are beneficial for the
environment
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, and natural
resources
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 should be preserved for the
future
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. To meet the increasing global demands
in
Change preposition
for
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 gas and oil, we should find
alternative
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resources
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 because they are good for the
environment
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. Oil, gas and other natural
resources
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 are harmful to the
environment
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. Excessive
use
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 of natural
resources
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 for a long time detrimentally impacts the
environment
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, if new and
alternative
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resources
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 can be discovered, it will be beneficial for the
environment
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. Take electric vehicles as an example. If people
use
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 electric vehicles
instead
Linking Words
 of fuel-driven vehicles,
air
Correct article usage
the air
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 will be less polluted.
Moreover
Linking Words
, we should not
use
Use synonyms
 natural
resources
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 from the undiscovered areas of the
world
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 because they should be preserved for the
future
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. If we
use
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 all the available natural
resources
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 from the undiscovered areas of the
world
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, our
future
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generations
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 will suffer a lot because
here
Correct your spelling
there
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 will be no
resources
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 left for them. We should think about our
future
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generations
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 and leave something for them.
For example
Linking Words
, Qatar has already taken
initiative
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the initiative
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 of preserving natural
oli
Correct your spelling
oil
 for its
future
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generations
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. In conclusion, I completely disagree with the point we should
use
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 all natural
resources
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 from the undiscovered
world
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. We should find
alternative
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resources
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 for the
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
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 of the
environment
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 and leave some natural
resources
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 for
our
Change the word
the
show examples
 next
generations
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Ensure a comprehensive exploration of all sides of the argument. Although you have made your stance clear, discussing counterarguments briefly can enhance your essay.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the connection between paragraphs for improved flow. Using linking words and phrases to show contrast and support can enhance the logical flow.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion that clearly states your position.
supported main points
Relevant examples support your main points, such as the reference to electric vehicles and Qatar's initiative.
task achievement
Ideas are well-developed, and your position is consistently supported throughout the essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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