studies suggest that children spend more time watching TV than they did in the past and apend less on doing active or creative things. why do you think it is the case? What methods can be used to tackle it?
In the modern world, the activities of children have changed drastically. As compared to the bygone
day's
leisure interest changed from doing exercises and artful work to sitting at one place watching television. Myriads of ostensible factors are accountable for Change noun form
day
this
scenario, however
with the right steps and perspectives, Add a comma
however,
this
prejudice can be eradicated.
Tacitly, the predominant factors that evidently triggered it can be observed. First and foremost, having a single child in the home results in overprotection. To clarify, parents try to provide all possible comfort to their little one
and become overanxious regarding the result of strenuous actions. To illustrate, Dr Sigmund Freud, an eminent psychologist in his study of human nature and cognitive skills Fix the agreement mistake
ones
has
asserted that in Unnecessary verb
apply
past
families had a number of toddlers at a time owing to which it was impossible to give attention to everyone. Correct article usage
the past
Secondly
, guardians are becoming workaholics because of which
they get help from technology like TV, so the kids do not distract them from their work.
Correct pronoun usage
this
Nevertheless
, there are potential ways to curb this
menace. Primarily, there should be an allocated time for all kinds of innovative achievements like art, dance and games. To go deeper, childhood is only a short period of time and the only way to know the potential of an offspring regarding ambition, interest
, and hobbies. To illustrate, a survey conducted by the United States Census Bureau over 2000 individuals revealed that 55% Fix the agreement mistake
interests
youngsters
developed their professions in future after learning small steps in their early years.
Change preposition
of youngsters
To conclude
, it can be said that although
there is plethora
of causes of Add an article
a plethora
this
issue, the collaborative effort of mother
, father and other family members can ameliorate Correct article usage
the mother
this
problem.Submitted by smanureet on
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Task Achievement
Your response effectively addresses both parts of the task by discussing the reasons children spend more time watching TV and suggesting possible remedies. To improve, consider providing more examples or analyzing the causes and solutions in greater depth.
Task Achievement
Work on making your arguments more nuanced and clear. The explanation of why parents might let their children watch more TV could be more developed.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure that all parts of your answer are connected with seamless transitions. Double-check whether all paragraphs align with the essay prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introductory paragraph effectively sets the context and outlines the main points of the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay provides a clear conclusion that wraps up the discussion well.
Task Achievement
You have used a strong example related to a survey conducted by the U.S. Census Bureau, which adds credibility to your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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