You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph below gives information about the preferred leisure activities of Australian children. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown. You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph below gives information about the preferred leisure activities of Australian children. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown. You should write at least 150 words.
The given information compares the percentages of time
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
either
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
boys
and
girls
, who are between the
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
5 to 14, spending their time doing some selected activities in their free, including five main categories. Generally, both genders enjoy time
spending
Replace the word
spent
show examples
on all activities which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
shown watching TV or videos are more
perferable
Correct your spelling
preferable
among both of them
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
while
skateboarding or rollerblading are less selected by
girls
and
boys
.
According to
the bar chart, watching TV or videos are the most popular
ones
Correct pronoun usage
one
show examples
which are in the same proportion
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both of them
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
100
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. The second activity is electronic and computer games which is apparent the percentage of
boys
participating is twice as high as
girls
which are 80 per
cent
and 60 per
cent
respectively. Bike riding is the third
popular
Correct quantifier usage
most popular
show examples
activity;
Correct article usage
the boys
show examples
boys
Change noun form
boys'
boy's
show examples
proportion is just under 80 and
Correct article usage
the girls
show examples
girls
Change noun form
girls'
girl's
show examples
ratio
roughly
Add a missing verb
is roughly
show examples
60 per
cent
.
Skate boarding
Correct your spelling
Skateboarding
show examples
and rollerblading are the less popular ones.
the
Capitalize word
The
show examples
participation of
boys
is almost 40 per
cent
, whilst
girls
are fewer participated in these activities which are just over 20 per
cent
.
In contrast
boys
,
girls
are engaged in art and craft higher than
boys
; the
paticipation
Correct your spelling
participation
of
girls
is
virtualy
Correct your spelling
virtually
60 per
cent
,
while
that of
boys
is fewer by nearly twice.
Submitted by sahar.moti1994 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, girls, cent with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • leisure activities
  • popularity
  • participated
  • outdoor activities
  • electronic entertainment
  • gender differences
  • age trends
  • artistic activities
  • cultural trends
  • educational influence
  • group activities
  • individual activities
  • social skills
  • comparison over time
  • statistics
  • surprising findings
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