You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph below gives information about the preferred leisure activities of Australian children. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown. You should write at least 150 words.
The given information compares the percentages of time
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
either
Correct word choice
apply
boys
and girls
, who are between the age
5 to 14, spending their time doing some selected activities in their free, including five main categories.
Generally, both genders enjoy time Fix the agreement mistake
ages
spending
on all activities which Replace the word
spent
is
shown watching TV or videos are more Correct subject-verb agreement
are
perferable
among both of themCorrect your spelling
preferable
,
Remove the comma
apply
while
skateboarding or rollerblading are less selected by girls
and boys
.
According to
the bar chart, watching TV or videos are the most popular ones
which are in the same proportion Correct pronoun usage
one
in
both of them Change preposition
apply
to
100 Change preposition
apply
percent
. The second activity is electronic and computer games which is apparent the percentage of Change the spelling
per cent
boys
participating is twice as high as girls
which are 80 per cent
and 60 per cent
respectively. Bike riding is the third popular
activity; Correct quantifier usage
most popular
Correct article usage
the boys
boys
proportion is just under 80 and Change noun form
boys'
boy's
Correct article usage
the girls
girls
ratio Change noun form
girls'
girl's
roughly
60 per Add a missing verb
is roughly
cent
.
Skate boarding
and rollerblading are the less popular ones. Correct your spelling
Skateboarding
the
participation of Capitalize word
The
boys
is almost 40 per cent
, whilst girls
are fewer participated in these activities which are just over 20 per cent
. In contrast
boys
, girls
are engaged in art and craft higher than boys
; the paticipation
of Correct your spelling
participation
girls
is virtualy
60 per Correct your spelling
virtually
cent
, while
that of boys
is fewer by nearly twice.Submitted by sahar.moti1994 on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, girls, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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