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Band 5

to what extend do you agree with business and society

#business #society
Business
 ethics and corporate social responsibility are the essential structure of
business
, which navigate companies throughout
the
Correct article usage
apply
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time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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 of multiplex challenges, especially at times when choices can have an inferior impact on
both
 local and global
society
. Challenges
such
 as
:
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apply
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 economic crises, environmental issues, etc.
Both
Candela
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Candela's
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 (2024) and
Smith
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Smith's
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 (2023) views converge on the idea that
business
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businesses
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 should not underestimate
consequences
Correct article usage
the consequences
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 of non-profit
business
. It should
center
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centre
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 on its effect on
society
, not only
about
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on
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 profit. They mention that
both
 ethics and corporate social responsibility (CSR) are vital components to attract customers with factors like honesty and trust. Candela (2024) illustrates Ajara’s incorporation
to
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into
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both
 sustainable support and
society
.
Whereas
 Smith (2023) states in the same manner,
as
Correct word choice
that
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 companies must provide benefits to global
society
 and the environment.
Both
 scholars agree that
this
 topic
cover
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covers
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 the idea of visualizing
business
 as an instrument for productive change, emphasizing the morality of acting in ways that exploit
society
, beyond what is required by law.
For instance
, Candela (2024) uses Ajara as an illustrative example of a
business
 which demonstrates that a company can have an impact on
society
 and be financially successful at the same time.
Additionally
, Ajara made valuable
contribution
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contributions
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 in
it
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its
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business
 field, one of them
is
Wrong verb form
being
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development
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the development
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in
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of
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 biodiversity, by not only trying to avoid causing harm to the environment
,
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apply
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 but
also
 to enhance biodiversity. The other notable asset is a program
runned
Correct your spelling
run
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 by “Ajara” called "Agro Apprenticeship" (
combination
Correct article usage
a combination
show examples
 of agriculture and entrepreneurship) which brings together farming and
business
 skills. With the help of
this
program
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program,
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 it can be used in
preservation
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the preservation
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the
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of the
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 environment and support of employee rights whilst profiting communities and households.
This
 approach to capitalism can happen in the real world and under current competition.
Submitted by aliyevashams4 on

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introduction conclusion present
Make sure to provide a more defined introduction that clearly sets up the topic and your position on it. Currently, the reader is aware of the focus on business ethics and CSR, but a clearer stance could improve comprehension.
introduction conclusion present
A conclusion summarizing the main points and reinforcing the essay's position would make the argument more robust.
logical structure
Work on organizing your ideas so each paragraph has one main point that is clearly supported. Currently, some paragraphs try to do too much and could be divided for clarity.
relevant specific examples
The essay includes specific examples from businesses, which adds depth and supports the points being made. This is a strong feature of your response.
supported main points
You have effectively used sources to support your claims, which adds credibility and depth to your argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
The inclusion of real-world examples like Ajara demonstrates a good grasp of how businesses can impact society positively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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