More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people think a solution can be to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In today’s rapidly changing world, more
people
who have a serious problem such
as being overweight in their healthy lifestyle is a topic of debate. Some argue that the solution available in this
case is to increase the price of fattening food
. I firmly believe that integrated programs with assessing food
and
can greatly balance outcomes and achievements.
Correct word choice
apply
Firstly
, medical committees encourage adults to achieve their body goals. Many diseases are presumably encountered if people
cannot keep their consumption of healthy foods for the long term, in consequence, they are likely to be overweight because their metabolism is slower than youngsters and also
, have limited time to do exercises. By counting calories, the elderly can know how many exactly calories they need to do a lot of activities, It impacts the quality of a healthy life which can avoid serious diseases.
Furthermore
, people
who have a normal weight can extend their long life expectancy. For obtaining a normal weight, a lot of researches present that people
who have a good diet are likely to have a long life. In consequence, it will give advantages to families and countries by distributing their knowledge to communities.
Some argue that without increasing the price of fattening foods, this
goal could not be achievable. It is important to assist foods in manufacturies by enhanced laboratorium which are capable of assessing this
food
. This
program can be avoided by the huge impacts of increasing food
prices, especially for economic aspects in countries.
In conclusion, encouraging people
to achieve a normal weight offers undeniable advantages. Assessing food
and spreading knowledge of good habits will extend long-life expectancy and give benefits to communities.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Clarify your stance on whether increasing the price of fattening food can be a solution. The essay seems to partially agree without fully exploring both sides of the argument.
task achievement
Explain some points with more specific examples or experiences to provide stronger support for your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow can be improved. Each paragraph should clearly relate back to your main argument and connect more smoothly with one another.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the ideas are well developed with supporting details.
coherence cohesion
You have effectively included an introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your argument.
task achievement
You mentioned important aspects of health impacts related to obesity, which gives your argument some depth.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!