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Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Write a 250-word essay for the topic: The use of social media, such as Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact in everyday life. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#topic #media #facebook #twitter #contact #life #outweigh
nowadays,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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social
media
has been
Wrong verb form
is
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 the most
using
Change the form of the verb
used
show examples
 in the world . we will talk about the
advanteges
Correct your spelling
advantages
 and
disadvanteges
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
.
fistiy
Correct your spelling
Firstly
,
the the
Correct article usage
apply
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social
media
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is a platform for connecting with friends and
familly
Correct your spelling
family
,
sharing
Correct word choice
and sharing
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 experiences
to
Change preposition
with
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the
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apply
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people,
moreover
 learning
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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new things has been a
lot
 easier .
due to
 you can call your friend a
lot
 faster ,
this
Change the determiner
this app
these apps
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apps
it`s make
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it makes
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the
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apply
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life much easier to do a
lot
 of things
while
 you sitting at home .
in
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On
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 the other hand ,
the
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people
has
Change the verb form
have
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 been using
the
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apply
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social
media
 fiercely nowadays ,
such
 as the communication
on
Change preposition
in
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 real life has been less,
moreover
Add a comma
moreover,
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they
Correct pronoun usage
there
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 have been many risks on the
apps
 .
additionally
 ,it can be a huge time sink , drawing attention away from real-world and face-to-face interactions . in my opinion,
the
Remove the article
apply
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it is so
dangerose
Correct your spelling
dangerous
 if you use
the
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apply
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social
media
apps
 for the whole day . and
of
Change preposition
at
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 the same
time
Add a comma
time,
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 it can be useful in a
lot
 of ways .
such
 as it is
meak
Correct your spelling
make
 the
communicat
Correct your spelling
communicate
 faster than before.
last
and
Correct word choice
but
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 not least , using
the
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apply
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media
apps
 is the best thing to do nowadays , it
vary
Verb problem
apply
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help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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as
Correct word choice
apply
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to do
the
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apply
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things faster .
Submitted by superalialhaddad on

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grammar
Work on improving grammatical accuracy by paying attention to tense and number agreement. It is important to proofread your essay to avoid errors such as 'the the social media' and 'fistiy'.
vocabulary
Improve your vocabulary by using a broader range of words. Instead of repeating words like 'using' and 'things', try incorporating synonyms or more descriptive words.
examples support
Provide more specific examples to support your main points. Elaborate on how social media makes learning easier or how it's making real-life communication less frequent.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.
balance in argument
You have acknowledged both advantages and disadvantages, which provides a balanced perspective.
logical flow
The main points are presented logically, with a clear division between the advantages and the disadvantages of social media.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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