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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Digital
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The digital
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 world has played a significant role in our lives. One impact is how
people
Use synonyms
 can easily purchase goods in many places. Nowadays
people
Use synonyms
 are not likely to bother themself to visit a shop.
People
Use synonyms
 most likely will count on online shopping.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, it offers flexibility and even
low-prices
Fix the agreement mistake
low-price
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 items. By doing
this
Linking Words
, it gives
people
Use synonyms
 advantages and a high possibility of having the same items.
For instance
Linking Words
, Someone is craving to get a new bag, but it is not available in their own country.
This
Linking Words
 could be prevented by shopping in another region, and they probably won’t have to go to the store.
People
Use synonyms
 could access it online.
This
Linking Words
 event could
also
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 occur to other
people
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 leading to possessing the same goods. For some
people
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,
this
Linking Words
 case is not an issue, but for others, it might be a big problem. They might want to be the only person to own the item. On the other side,
This
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 could lead us to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of creativity and innovation
due to
Linking Words
 owning the same stuff. But I think
this
Linking Words
 could be handled by creating a new idea or concept every few years.
However
Linking Words
, there should be a limitation as well to prevent excessive items.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear structure, with a distinct introduction and conclusion. This will improve its overall organization and help guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Try to develop your main ideas more comprehensively. Include more specific examples and explanations to highlight your viewpoints in detail.
task achievement
Take time to restate the question in your own words in the introduction and answer it directly to make a strong thesis statement.
task achievement
The essay discusses the global similarity of products due to online shopping, pointing out both advantages and drawbacks, which is relevant to the task.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical flow from one point to the next, making it easy for readers to follow the arguments presented.
task achievement
The use of a specific example, such as buying a bag from another country online, helps illustrate the point being made.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
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