IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The maps present changes that took place in grange park over a 124 years period between 1920 and 2024.

The maps present changes that took place in grange park over a 124 years period between 1920 and 2024.
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The maps illustrate the process of industrialisation which occurred in Grange
Park
Use synonyms
 from 1920 to 2024 over a
124 years
Correct your spelling
124-year
 period. In 1920,the
park
Use synonyms
 was a much greener area with a number of gardens and
pond
Correct article usage
a pond
show examples
 for water
plant
Fix the agreement mistake
plants
show examples
,but during the next 124
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 the town witnessed a number of dramatic changes. The most noticeable change is that
fountain
Correct article usage
the fountain
show examples
 and ponds for water plants,which
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 in the north of the
park
Use synonyms
,
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been knocked down to make a way for
Rose
Correct article usage
the Rose
show examples
garden
Capitalize word
Garden
show examples
 and children’s
play ground
Correct your spelling
playground
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, seats have
been sprang
Wrong verb form
sprung
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 up around the Rose Garden. Only
entrance
Correct article usage
the entrance
show examples
,which is located in the north of the
park
Use synonyms
,has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
remained. The second biggest change is that
Rose
Correct article usage
the Rose
show examples
 Garden and Glass
house
Capitalize word
House
show examples
 have been turned into
cafe
Correct article usage
a cafe
show examples
 and water feature.
Further
Linking Words
 developments are the construction of
Correct article usage
an amphitheater
show examples
amphitheater
Change the spelling
amphitheatre
show examples
 and seats. The only thing kept in
this
Linking Words
 area
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
 been entrance
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 Eldon
street
Capitalize word
Street
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
,a comparison of the two maps reveals a change from largely green to mainly new buildings

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words park with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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