The bar chart shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons.

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The bar chart displays how many individuals worked in five different types of jobs in one of the areas in Australia in the years 2001 and 2008.

Overall

Linking Words

, it can be seen clearly that sales have the highest number in both years, compared to the other fields.

While

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accounting and farming were more popular in 2001, sales, computing and nursing were more attractive in 2008.

To begin

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with, sales became the most attractive job for employees in 2001 and 2008, reaching over 150000 and 160000, respectively. The number of people who worked in the computing field increased from around 50000 in 2001 to over 60000 in 2008. The other development happened in nursing

which

Correct word choice

when

show examples

there were around 2000 additional workers in

this

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job in 2008.

In contrast

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, accounting and farming showed decreases in employee numbers from 2001 to 2008. For accounting, there was a small fall, around 1000 workers, from 60000 in 2001 to 59000 in 2008.

In addition

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, people in 2008 were less interested in the farming field rather than those who were living in 2001. There are only under 20000 people working in

this

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field, which

also

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demonstrated the lowest number compared to others.

Submitted by nabilaintansari8 on Tue Oct 22 2024

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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

196 words

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The bar chart shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons.

There has been a debate on whether we should let everyone have access on any data as much as we can in different subjects such as science related articles and research,economy

Some people think that the main purpose of school is to turn children as good citizens and workers, rather to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today’s fast-paced world, many individuals struggle with delaying or postponing tasks. Discuss a cause of this and suggest an effective solution to overcome it.

Exposure to international media such as films, TV and megazines has significant impact on local culture. What do you think has been the impact? Do you think its advantages outweigh the disadvantages?