Some people think children have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #children #freedom #mistakes #adults

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One

of the most controversial issues today relates to

children

's education.

While

some people

trend

Correct your spelling

tend

show examples

towards the viewpoint that

children

make

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

some

mistakes

is acceptable, others support the opinion that

parent

Fix the agreement mistake

parents

show examples

should take good care of

children

from making

mistakes

. In

this

essay, I am going to examine both points of view and provide my own opinion. On

one

side of the

argument

Add a comma

argument,

show examples

there are people who argue that

children

have the freedom to make

mistakes

. The main reason for believing

this

is that the cost of

mistak

Correct your spelling

mistakes

mistake

made by kids is very subtle. To be more specific, when the cost of

mistak

Correct your spelling

mistakes

mistake

is not big

enought

Correct your spelling

enough

to impact family or individual,

then

most people will

turned

Change the verb form

turn

show examples

a blind eye to it. It is

also

possible to say that

let

Wrong verb form

letting

show examples

kids have the freedom to make

mistakes

is good rather than

make

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

mistakes

Change preposition

show examples

adult

Fix the agreement mistake

adults

show examples

One

good illustration of

this

children

can face their

consequence

Fix the agreement mistake

consequences

show examples

with slight punishment

also

Correct word choice

and also

show examples

make them don't trip over the same stone twice.

On the other hand

, the opposite argument is that adults should prevent

children

from making

mistakes

. For

one

thing,

mistakes

made during childhood can sometimes lead to dangerous or long-term negative consequences. To illustrate, if a child develops bad habits or engages in risky

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

, these could persist into adulthood, potentially causing more harm in the future. For another, the fact that

children

lack the judgment and experience to understand the full impact of their actions

also

deserves our attention.

In other words

, parents are in a better position to foresee potential risks and guide their

children

to avoid costly

mistakes

. In conclusion,

althought

Correct your spelling

although

it might seem sensible for

parent

Fix the agreement mistake

parents

show examples

should help

children

avoid making

mistakes

. I personally

prefer

Add the particle

prefer to

show examples

give freedom to make

mistakes

and learn something that

meaningful

Add a missing verb

is meaningful

show examples

from their fault.

Submitted by hibana2077 on Tue Oct 22 2024

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language

Enhance your grammar and spelling to improve clarity.

content

Provide more specific examples to support your points.

structure

Clarify some ideas to avoid potential confusion, especially when contrasting viewpoints.

structure

Good introductory paragraph that clearly states the issue and your intention to discuss both viewpoints.

structure

You provide a conclusion that reiterates your opinion effectively.

content

Both viewpoints are presented with reasonable arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

freedom to make mistakes
critical thinking skills
lifelong learning
guided learning environment
resilience
independence
overprotective
dependency
problem-solving skills
confidence
negative consequences
learning process
personal growth
trial and error
balance safety and learning
development
support and guidance
empowerment
risk-taking
life lessons

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Some people think children have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

There should be strict laws banning people from taking photographs of people under 18 in order to protect young celebrities and the children of celebrities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many University students live with their families, while others live away from home because their Universities are in different places. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both situations?

Some people feel that manufactures and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of foods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that what individuals do to protect cannot make difference, others say that individuals can protect environment. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

Some people think that it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams. Agree or disagree?