Some people think children have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

One
of the most controversial issues today relates to
children
's education.
While
some people
trend
Correct your spelling
tend
show examples
towards the viewpoint that
children
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
some
mistakes
is acceptable, others support the opinion that
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
should take good care of
children
from making
mistakes
. In
this
essay, I am going to examine both points of view and provide my own opinion. On
one
side of the
argument
Add a comma
argument,
show examples
there are people who argue that
children
have the freedom to make
mistakes
. The main reason for believing
this
is that the cost of
mistak
Correct your spelling
mistakes
mistake
made by kids is very subtle. To be more specific, when the cost of
mistak
Correct your spelling
mistakes
mistake
is not big
enought
Correct your spelling
enough
to impact family or individual,
then
most people will
turned
Change the verb form
turn
show examples
a blind eye to it. It is
also
possible to say that
let
Wrong verb form
letting
show examples
kids have the freedom to make
mistakes
is good rather than
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
mistakes
at
Change preposition
as
show examples
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
.
One
good illustration of
this
is
children
can face their
consequence
Fix the agreement mistake
consequences
show examples
with slight punishment
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
make them don't trip over the same stone twice.
On the other hand
, the opposite argument is that adults should prevent
children
from making
mistakes
. For
one
thing,
mistakes
made during childhood can sometimes lead to dangerous or long-term negative consequences. To illustrate, if a child develops bad habits or engages in risky
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
, these could persist into adulthood, potentially causing more harm in the future. For another, the fact that
children
lack the judgment and experience to understand the full impact of their actions
also
deserves our attention.
In other words
, parents are in a better position to foresee potential risks and guide their
children
to avoid costly
mistakes
. In conclusion,
althought
Correct your spelling
although
it might seem sensible for
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
should help
children
avoid making
mistakes
. I personally
prefer
Add the particle
prefer to
show examples
give freedom to make
mistakes
and learn something that
meaningful
Add a missing verb
is meaningful
show examples
from their fault.
Submitted by hibana2077 on

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language
Enhance your grammar and spelling to improve clarity.
content
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
structure
Clarify some ideas to avoid potential confusion, especially when contrasting viewpoints.
structure
Good introductory paragraph that clearly states the issue and your intention to discuss both viewpoints.
structure
You provide a conclusion that reiterates your opinion effectively.
content
Both viewpoints are presented with reasonable arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • freedom to make mistakes
  • critical thinking skills
  • lifelong learning
  • guided learning environment
  • resilience
  • independence
  • overprotective
  • dependency
  • problem-solving skills
  • confidence
  • negative consequences
  • learning process
  • personal growth
  • trial and error
  • balance safety and learning
  • development
  • support and guidance
  • empowerment
  • risk-taking
  • life lessons
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