IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages four tourists who visit such places?

#tourists #places #conditions #sahara #desert #antarctic #four #visit
Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult,
such
 as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages
four
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
 tourists who visit
such
 places?
Firstly
,living in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
extreme conditions for specific periods will make you appreciate the little things in life which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 taken for granted.
This
 is because you will encounter how people meet their necessities by working strenuous labour
Furthemore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
 tourists will examine places that nobody has reached before.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 one major problem of living in non-populated areas is the high possibility of getting lost.
This
 is because internet connections may not be available
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 these sites.
For
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
 people rely on old radio
technique
Fix the agreement mistake
techniques
show examples
 to catch up signals and communicate with the outer world which can be technically demanding. In conclusion,
while
 it is advantageous to
eplare
Correct your spelling
explore
replace
place
 extremely arduous locations it can
also
 lead to
unfourable
Correct your spelling
unfordable
unfavourable
 situations
such
abeing
Correct your spelling
being
a being
undsafe
Correct your spelling
unsafe
 and getting lost.
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure clear transitions and connections between paragraphs. This could include linking words or phrases to indicate contrasting ideas.
Task Achievement
Expand on your ideas with more specific examples and details to fully support your main points.
Grammar and Vocabulary
Review for small grammatical errors such as typos or incorrect word forms, for example, 'eplare' instead of 'explore', 'being undsafe' instead of 'being unsafe'.
Logical Structure
The essay presents a clear contrast between the benefits and disadvantages of visiting challenging environments.
Task Achievement
The idea of appreciating the 'little things in life' is a thoughtful insight.
Conclusion Summary
The conclusion successfully summarizes the main points discussed in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: