Write about the following topic: Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Some consider that homeschooling is the best option for
children
, others think kids need to experience the school
environment. According to
my own opinion, children
need to go to school
and enjoy its conditions. This
essay will discuss the positive sides for
both Change preposition
of
opinion
.
First of all, it is a fact that Change to a plural noun
opinions
home
is a safe place for Change the article
a home
children
, they feel absolutely comfortable and secure. However
, the world itself is not so simple and carefree, in the future, those children
might encounter difficult issues, which they will need to overcome in their adulthood life. Thus
, gaining the
knowledge of methods of solving problems is an essential lesson to learn. Correct article usage
apply
Moreover
, going to school
has several benefits and teaches vital points, including social skills, leadership, building strong friendships, research abilities and
etc. To give an example, my nephew who used to be extremely shy and antisocial, turned into an Correct word choice
apply
incredible
confident Change the word
incredibly
kid
, due to
the effects of school
environment.
Add an article
the school
a school
On the other hand
, school
might include hard issues for Add an article
a school
the school
children
, for instance
, bullying. Bullying will not be a problem if a kid
is being homeschooled, since he/she will not be in the same room and will not experience the same conditions with other kids. I absolutely think, although
Correct word choice
that although
children
that
are taught at home might learn the same materials Correct pronoun usage
who
with
the kids at Change preposition
as
school
, mentally and psychologically, they will not develop similarly
. The advantage of homeschooling might be the
reduced bullying, Correct article usage
apply
however
there are other additional beneficial aspects of Add a comma
however,
school
. There are several examples that show the psychological difference between a homeschooled kid
and a kid
going to school
.
To conclude
, both methods might have several advantages, nevertheless
, experiencing the school
environment, meeting new friends, overcoming
difficulties at Correct word choice
and overcoming
school
are so vital and will evolve a person's abilities.Submitted by lalecelilbeyli2002 on
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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, try using more linking words to ensure a smoother transition between ideas and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Keep your thesis statement explicit in the introduction to clearly show your stance and guide the reader.
task achievement
While discussing the advantages of homeschooling, try to include more examples or details to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant examples, specifically the personal example of your nephew, which adds a personal touch and strengthens the argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and effectively encapsulate the main points discussed in the essay.
task achievement
There's a balanced discussion of both perspectives, showing an understanding of the advantages of each approach.