Without capital punishment our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that capital
punishment
plays
vital
Add an article
a vital
show examples
role in modern
society
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because at the same
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
it helps to protect and secure inhabitants’
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
from criminals. I believe that capital
punishment
is essential for
society
because it prevents major crimes and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is justice for victims and their families.
Firstly
, the death penalty acts as a strong deterrent to serious crimes
such
as murder. The fear of receiving the ultimate
punishment
may discourage individuals from committing
such
offenses
Change the spelling
offences
show examples
. Statistics have shown that countries with active capital
punishment
, like China, experience lower
crime
rates
as a result
of the severe consequences.
While
some argue that
this
form of
punishment
may not always prevent
crime
, the potential deterrent effect cannot be dismissed entirely.
Second
Add an article
The second
A second
show examples
reason for agreement is death penalty helps to eliminate crimes
done
Verb problem
committed
show examples
by people who have no respect for human
life
. These people have taken someone’s
life
and why they should be allowed to live
while
their victims cannot. For many, the loss of a loved one
due to
violent
crime
leaves lasting emotional and psychological damage.
Also
, when the right justice is served victim’s family can have peace of mind and continue to live their own
life
.
To sum up
, it can be said that capital
punishment
is highly necessary for lowering the
crime
rate in
society
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
while
protecting
lives
Correct article usage
the lives
show examples
of citizens. I think that
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
penalty is
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
show examples
tool for
society
because it deters the most serious
offenses
Change the spelling
offences
show examples
and serves justice for victims and their families.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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task achievement
Consider providing counterarguments to balance your essay. Addressing opposing views can strengthen your argument and demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases more consistently to ensure that your arguments flow smoothly. This will enhance the logical structure of the essay.
task achievement
The essay effectively presents a clear stance on capital punishment and supports it with relevant examples and arguments.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, clearly presenting your opinion and summarizing your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent effect
  • retribution
  • irreversibility
  • judicial error
  • human rights
  • ethical considerations
  • life imprisonment
  • perception of violence
  • rehabilitation
  • reforming
  • contentious
  • societal perception
  • morality
  • recidivism
  • capital punishment
  • justice system
  • incarceration
  • penology
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