IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Labour-saving devices such as dishwashers and communication tools such as computers are supposed to make our lives easier. However, some people argue that these devices only make them more difficult. Does modern technology reduce or increase stress? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #devices #dishwashers #communication #tools #computers #lives #people #technology #stress
In the contemporary world of globalization, where
technology
 is taking over repetitive
work
, some
people
 argue that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
 makes their lives more difficult,
while
 others are against
this
 notion.
This
 essay will discuss why
technology
 makes lives much easier than
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 used to be without
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
. The advocates who support that
technology
 is to reduce stress, including me,
argues
Correct subject-verb agreement
argue
show examples
 that
machine's
Correct article usage
the machine's
show examples
defination
Correct your spelling
definition
 itself is to make things easier. If it is not making complex things convenient
then
 it is not a machine.
For instance
, if we take a robo cleaner as an example which mops the floor,
instead
 of someone else doing it. It will potentially reduce the stress and individuals can
spent
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
 the remaining
time
 in something else.
However
, labourers like maids would not be delighted to see these devices but
people
 can utilize their domestic help in something else
where
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 these robots cannot approach.
In addition
, technological advancement has reduced laborious
work
 significantly.
For example
, growing grass can be maintained using lawnmowers, Dishes can be washed using dishwashers, Individuals don't need to press their clothes with heavy irons anymore since steam irons have been introduced and other examples. These all are now a helping hand for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humans who are busy with professional lives and can not spend much
time
 on domestic chores.
Furthermore
,
this
 will
also
 allow them to enjoy their leisure
time
 with friends and family
instead
 of doing repetitive domestic
work
.
Thus
, these advancements have significantly reduced stress. In conclusion, the way
technology
 is advancing
people
 are spending more
time
 on their careers, leaving all other
work
 on these devices,
whereas
this
 is
also
 helping
people
 to relieve themselves from their home tensions.
Submitted by moazzamm2 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on more precise phrasing to enhance clarity. For example, 'machine's defination' should be 'definition of machines'.
task achievement
Improve the integration of examples into your arguments for better fluency. For instance, ensure each example directly relates to the preceding point.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are present, ensure that they are more directly tied to your main argument. Reinforce your thesis in the conclusion slightly more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Your argument is coherent with a logical progression of ideas from introduction to conclusion.
task achievement
You have identified strong real-world examples, like robo cleaners and dishwashers, to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay structure is clear, maintaining a logical flow and presenting your stance well.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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