The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweigh is increasing. What are the causes and solutions of this problem.

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Nowadays, it is reported that the recorded cases of overweight, which is categorized as a severe health issue, are growing lately. There are numerous causes of these problems; improper eating habits and too much exposure to psychological

stress

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. In

this

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essay, I will explain

this

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further

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as well as

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provide the appropriate solutions.

Initially

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, most of the

people

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do not have a healthy diet in their daily lives.

This

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means that they do not really care about the portion, the variety of the foods they consume, and the ideal time of their eating.

This

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will inhibit their body from producing a well-balanced nutrition and badly influence their metabolism,

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apply

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which, leads to unstable fat proportion in their body.

Secondly

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, repetitive feelings of

stress

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may drive

people

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to engage in more frequent eating behaviour, as it is one of the mechanisms to cope with

stress

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For

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this

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reason, there are two ways to solve

this

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problem.

Firstly

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people

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should be selective with their diet

as well as

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organise their daily eating plan. They can restrict various foods that contain high levels of fat, and increase protein-rich consumption.

Furthermore

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, they need to settle

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on a

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number of suitable methods to endure

stress

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and continue their life adaptively.

For instance

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people

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can find new hobbies

such

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as engaging in sports activities, learning how to cook, hanging out with old friends, and other ways that help them go through tough times. In summary, because being overweight is mostly caused by a lack of a balanced diet and continuous

stress

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in life,

hence

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people

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should regulate their food consumption better and find several ways to overcome

stress

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Submitted by 000silr111 on Wed Oct 23 2024

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specific examples

Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mentioning specific types of food or psychological stressors might help solidify your argument.

cohesion

Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to maintain a logical flow throughout the essay.

clear comprehensive ideas

You have mentioned that stress leads to more frequent eating but it might be useful to introduce the term 'emotional eating' for clarity and precision.

introduction

The introduction clearly sets up the topic and purpose of the essay.

conclusion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and provides a clear solution.

task achievement

There is a consistent effort to address both causes and solutions of the problem, showing an understanding of the task.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweigh is increasing. What are the causes and solutions of this problem.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Scientist agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food. Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think education will not work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the future, all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people traveling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

You had to cancel a meeting with a friend. Write a letter to him/her, in your letter - Apologise for cancelling the meeting - Explain why you couldn't be there - Suggest an alternative day when you could meet

To succeed in business, one needs to learn and know math. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The figure below provide information on the number of people per 100,000 found guilty of reckless driving offences in Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.