Unemployment remains the biggest challenge to school-leavers* in most countries’ •How far do you agree with this assessment? What other challenges face young people today?

#unemployment #challenge #school-leavers* #countries’ #•how #challenges #face #people

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Many people believe that going on an appropriate

job

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after graduating from school is a significant challenge- added to many others- faced by

individuals

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at that age. I fully agree with

this

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agreement, I graduated recently and was passing -like all my peers- through a long sufficient period before getting the appropriate

job

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On the other hand

Linking Words

, a considerable proportion of fresh school

graduators

Replace the word

graduates

show examples

spend their time following up and failing

job

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applications seeking a good

job

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opportunity,

while

Linking Words

many of them will not get it easy and might need to wait months. In 2022, in one developing country the percentage of unemployed school-levers after the first year of graduating was 16%.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, those who have just left their schools, usually, face an unbalanced workforce, where most employees prefer experienced

individuals

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Therefore

Linking Words

, it is obvious in most employment advertisements ,over several fields, that the minimum required experience is not less than three years.

Additionally

Linking Words

, the shortage of

job

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opportunities is not the sole obstacle for young

individuals

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, we can see a considerable percentage of university or school graduates suffer from a lack of social skills which makes them can not engage in the workforce and build relationships with others effectively, and find interact with others a real problem they need to deal with. In conclusion, the lack of

job

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opportunities for young

individuals

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is a significant obstacle

due to

Linking Words

various reasons

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and is one of a series of issues faced by

this

Linking Words

age group. Personally, I do agree that

this

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issue causes a considerable challenge for those

individuals

Use synonyms

Submitted by aalahmad387s on Thu Aug 22 2024

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language

Your essay would benefit from some language refinement. For example, instead of saying 'passing through a long sufficient period', you could say 'enduring a prolonged period'.

cohesion

Ensure that your points are clearly linked. While your paragraphs are relevant, transitional words and phrases could help improve the flow further. For instance, use 'Moreover' instead of 'On the other hand' when adding similar points.

task achievement

Bring more balance to the argument by acknowledging counter-arguments to the issue of unemployment among school-leavers. This can strengthen your essay by demonstrating a more comprehensive understanding.

introduction

Your introduction is clear and sets up the essay well.

conclusion

Your conclusion beautifully summarises your main points and reinforces your stance.

evidence

Including a specific statistic about unemployment rates adds credibility to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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Unemployment remains the biggest challenge to school-leavers* in most countries’ •How far do you agree with this assessment? What other challenges face young people today?

Fully explain your ideas

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree.

Labor-saving devices such as dishwashers and communication tools such as computers are supposed to make our lives easier. However, some people argue that these devices one make them more difficult. Does modern technology reduce or increase stress?

Your workplace does not have a parking area for cars, and it is causing some problems. Write a letter to your manager and include the following: – Describe the problems it has caused. – Explain what benefits a parking area would bring to the company. – Suggest a solution.

Some people suggest that bringing up children by thw whole family includimg uncles, aunts and grandparents is better, rather than only by parents. To what extend are you agree or disagree?

Some peole believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.