Some people think that government should spend money for faster public transportation, others think that there are other important priorities of public transport (cost, environment). Discuss both view and give your opinion.
There are some
people
who believe that considering public transport
, making it faster is the most crucial target for government
because it decreases traffic jams. I completely agree with them despite of ideas of their opponents that environmental orientation and convenience of public Correct article usage
the government
transport
are more important.
Considering other pivotal priorities, people
argue that firstly
government
should change old buses, which produce Correct article usage
the government
lot
of fumes, to clean ones. Change the article
a lot
This
is because exhausted gases deteriorate cities and destroy health
of citizens, affecting Add an article
the health
on
their breath system. Change preposition
apply
For example
, in Almaty, place
where I am based, many Add an article
a place
the place
people
suffer from asthma, the disease of polluted air. In contrast
, if public transport
was environmental
friendly, Change the adjective
environmentally
people
would not consume contaminated air, so increasing the numbers
of clean Fix the agreement mistake
number
vehicals
is so important.
Correct your spelling
vehicles
On the other hand
, the prioritisation of making public transport
faster positively impacts on ameliorating the significant issue of traffic jams. It is hard to deny, that for many authorities of megapolices
Add a comma
megapolices,
this
problem is crucial and they try to make pressure on roads lower. In the
other Correct article usage
apply
word
, the idea of speeding up public Fix the agreement mistake
words
transport
may be attractive for
drivers, who will choose Change preposition
to
use
a public system Fix the infinitive
to use
instead
of their cars. This
conclusion is based on fact
that many Add an article
the fact
people
commute by a
personal vehicle in light of Correct article usage
apply
a
public Remove the article
apply
transport
is
too slow. So, if a Wrong verb form
being
government
make
Verb problem
apply
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
speed
of buses or trains, Add an article
the speed
people
will escape from cars to these vehicles, decreasing traffic jams.
In conclusion, I firmly believe, that government
Correct article usage
the government
sould
spend money Correct your spelling
should
could
for
faster public Change preposition
on
transport
because it may not only solve promlems
with overloading roads, but Correct your spelling
problems
also
lowering
Wrong verb form
lower
number
of cars on Change the article
a number
the number
roads
and Correct article usage
the roads
overal
air pollution in cities.Correct your spelling
overall
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure to maintain clear grammar and sentence structure to increase clarity and strength of arguments.
Task Achievement
Support all points with relevant, specific examples to augment the argument.
Task Achievement
Aim to balance discussing both views evenly to provide a more comprehensive perspective.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion on public transport priorities.
Task Achievement
The use of specific examples, such as the reference to Almaty and its air pollution challenges, strengthens the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Both views are well-discussed, offering a balanced examination of the topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example