IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

People are surrounded by all kinds of advertising. Some people believe that advertising has a negative effect on people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

We live in an era where advertising has become so massive and
gives
Verb problem
has
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 many impacts on people's lives. In
this
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 essay, I will explain why too much advertising has more disadvantages than benefits. There are many reasons why customers rely on how a company advertise their
products
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. Advertising is an effective way to introduce new
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product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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 to the market.
Moreover
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, by using many methods to promote, certain
products
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 could get higher exposure and lead to higher sales.
For example
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, a car
that is
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 advertised on television and
youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
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 might deliver better
product
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 knowledge than other cars that
only
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are only
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 advertised in car exhibitions.
In addition
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, many kinds of advertising
also
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 help customers to choose the best
products
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 that suit them
with
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at
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 a fair price.
On the other hand
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, several kinds of advertising
also
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 have negative effects. For customers, too much advertising
such
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 as telemarketing, email promotion, and
ecommerce
Correct your spelling
e-commerce
 sales
notification
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notifications
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 could make them overwhelmed and end up buying nothing.
Thus
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, a company that wants to boost sales, should have a comprehensive marketing strategy to prevent
this
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.
Furthermore
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, massive advertising that currently
happened
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happens
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also
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 could raise consumerism. Because of advertising, people tend to buy unnecessary
products
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 that they don’t actually need.
On the other hand
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, nowadays many companies use advertising for their bad marketing like using fake testimonials,
product
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overclaim
Correct subject-verb agreement
overclaims
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, and dishonest
product
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description
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descriptions
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.
As a result
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, there will be
an
Correct article usage
apply
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unhealty
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
 competition in the industry.
To sum up
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, advertising is one of the most favourable tools for a company to boost their
products
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. But if it isn't used wisely it could lead to many negative effects that might outdo
it's
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its
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 advantages.

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coherence cohesion
Make sure that each paragraph follows a clear and logical progression. For example, the paragraph discussing negatives of advertising could be structured with a clearer topic sentence, followed by supporting details, and a concluding sentence.
task achievement
Strengthen the support for your points with more specific examples or evidence. For instance, provide concrete examples of how advertising can lead to consumerism.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a strong introduction that clearly states the writer’s position on the effects of advertising.
task achievement
You have successfully addressed both the positive and negative sides of advertising, showing a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces the essay’s argument.
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