Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.
In the modern day, musicians and painters require a lot of money to create art. Some say the
government
should step in and help fund them while
others believe this
job to be for alternative sources. In my opinion, the government
should only help with funding for artwork that promotes their culture since they have to use the budget for other more important aspects such
as healthcare or education. Then
the budget for artists would fall for art-related companies.
To begin
with, the government
has a lot of responsibility for the entire country. They cannot focus mainly on some subjective aspects like art. They must regulate other infrastructures that would help their citizen' lives become better. For example
, rather than give money to create a music video that cannot guarantee success they will prefer to take this
money to help construct hospitals that will eventually save more lives and have a greater impact on society. However
, for some pieces that can promote their tradition, they can support it because there are plenty of benefits such
as attracting tourists, boosting the economy, and spreading culture worldwide.
So, the artists would be funded by their companies since there are various businesses in music and art marketing. Those are designed to completely support these artists then
they should provide a budget. Moreover
, they have specialists in this
field so they can help them perform even better with the help of huge organizations for instance
they can give some advanced tools for painters which will make their work easier and better in both quality and quantity.
To summarize, even though creativity should be supported by the government
, they should prioritize other aspects of life first and then
only help those who have merits for the overall
society. Therefore
,
This
funding should be by the businesses in this
industry not only because they can provide the cost but also
have a professional in the field to help.Submitted by krittaphastaishan on
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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
Develop your argument more fully by providing more examples or elaborating on your points to strengthen your discussion.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a balanced discussion of both perspectives on the issue.
coherence cohesion
You have used linking words and phrases effectively to maintain a steady flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are generally well-supported, and you offer logical reasoning for your opinions.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.