At the present time, the populatiion of some counries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

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Recently, the issue of having a number of young working adults has become the subject of heated debate. Some

people

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assert that

although

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there are some disadvantages to a youthful population, these are outweighed by the advantages,

while

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others argue

otherwise

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. And I wholeheartedly agree with the former stand. In the following essay, both views will be discussed before a conclusion is reached with my opinion. On the one hand, those who claim that

this

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causes a number of problems do so for several reasons. Proponents of

this

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argument insist that there is likely to be fiercer competition for jobs and an increase in the unemployment rate, which can lower the quality of life of the general population, including their mental health. Another argument is that

this

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can

also

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place strain on a range of public services,

such

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as education. To be specific, schools may become overcrowded and the

overall

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quality of education can suffer. Given these points, some

people

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hold the view that there are numerous downsides to

this

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situation. My opinion,

however

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, is that these countries can benefit a great deal from having a large number of adults. Perhaps the most compelling reason is that there is a larger workforce available.

This

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can in turn increase the country’s competitiveness in the global economy if public funding is allocated to creating manufacturing jobs for young

people

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, who can

then

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make products for export. Another convincing reason is that society would become more progressive because of the innovative and creative ideas of young

people

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This

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could have a positive impact on solving social issues

such

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as health problems. To exemplify, research conducted by Seoul National University has demonstrated that 96% of new medicines are developed by young experts. In light of the above, I find these more persuasive. In conclusion, it is undeniable that there are a variety of opinions about

this

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topic.

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, after considering

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matter in a careful manner, I fully support the view that a large youth population brings significant benefits to society.

zizi03199Wed Oct 23 2024

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task achievement

To enhance task response, ensure that all claims, such as economic growth potential, are supported by specific examples or evidence.

coherence cohesion

Consider refining transitions between paragraphs to strengthen the flow of ideas.

introduction conclusion present

The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.

logical structure

Strong logical structure with well-supported arguments on both sides.

relevant specific examples

The use of specific examples, such as the study from Seoul National University, helps to substantiate claims.

9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

337 words

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At the present time, the populatiion of some counries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Some think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is the responsibility of schools to teach children good behavior in addition to providing formal education. To what extent do you agree or disagree

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. To what extent do you agree or disagree?